A day in the life of Winssu-chan

Hmn.

2008-12-24T06:00:00.001-08:00

If you hadn't known.
I've moved.

It's up to you how to find it. (:

2008-12-04T06:19:00.000-08:00

Oh, great.
That SMS just made me feel sick and tired.
Really made me think it through about why the hell I should bother winning any competitions.
Really, you know. I can't be more grateful realizing that its NOTHING worth being sad for.

Well done.
Now I have virtually nothing to look forward to to that damned school, besides the bare necessities that many a student have come for: the A level certificate, and a NAPFA cert that sends you to BMT.

Oh, to those SPECIFIC cartoon characters who are going to tell this specific teacher who's going to spread another wildfire and keep me restrained and pit me into more troublesome situations and affairs again. I hope you die in a fire, or at least get yourself cut. Your WORRY and CONCERN is exactly the thing that pisses me off and keeps on landing me in trouble.

That's far worse off than that couple of douchebags I may or may not have told you about, THANK YOU. You're no better than primary schoolkids, always run to teacher whenever something happens, even if you have the common sense (or not) to know its confided information.

Talk about confiding. These toons ought to be jailed, really.
Yes, I'm outright angry and pissed at you, you know who you are, dont expect a warm look from me next year.

Now please, this is how I end this blog.
January thru December, 12 fucking months of rants and false hope.

Oh and, you know what?
If you want to investigate into what happened, well sad to say that I've always been keeping this thing called an IRL JOURNAL. HA.
You'll never begin to know what REALLY ticks in my head.

Though you'll discover what ticks me off.
Good.
Now bye.

Jesus forgive me thy sins of wrath at such a wrong time.

I've given up and have nary a glimpse of hope nor happiness left for my place in VJC.
To have this log marred at the end is pitiful, let alone a sad waste, may it serve as an illustration to the others of a year wasted all from misconceptions, lack of control, as well as my gradual defeat and a second succumb to the sins I have committed.

I pray there be no one else be strewn down this blast path towards nothingness and self-loathing. May there be nothing less, nothing more for my second year.

I pray too for my own recovery, as well as my friend whom I hold dear. Give me strength, give her strength, let us live one day after another, until the ultimatum has reached conclusion, would I gladly, silently.. admit. I will not rest until that day comes, and I pray for that strength to withhold me.

Amen.

.

2008-11-27T05:10:00.000-08:00

December's coming real soon.
Really soon.

I'm sad, Violet. :c

So.

2008-11-25T07:53:00.000-08:00

IF YOU'RE READING THIS FOR MY JC STUDY GROUP, PLEASE CTRL-F THE TERM "PCMA"

So, uhm.

Missed today's counseling.
Missed today's meeting.
Missed some shots.

Oops.

Read a bunch of Art marking schemes while AFK-playing Runescape. Well, it would seem it's easier than expected, just that the typical memorization has to go in - in fact, I see some points that were mentioned by me during class while others said others... Point is, I recalled some of which i said quite, by myself. I think.. s:

So uhm. R-papers for Art.. Ohshit ohshit I have yet to submit the R-paper form. s:
Now I'm in trouble again.

Anyway.

Just a little notice - I'm currently looking for a couple of peoples to study with in my subjects of PCMA - Physics Chemistry Maths and... not Art. ^^;; All H2 tho. Details are as follows:

PHYSICS: Head-to-toe learning from errors and uncertainities (mmm I can recall everything of that by mentioning that topic..) to... focusing on the topics of Dynamics, Waves and Oscillations, both of which are my weakest.

CHEMISTRY: Practically, basic learning of the topics I missed during TSD days as well as those missed during all that E-learning nonsense - pH calculations, ionic equilibrium, the latter of organic chem learnt during Y1, as well as doing them very tricky questions. (using VJ tutorials, supplementary questions, other tutorials are also welcome to be shared) Marking styles will also be examined a-la O Level, which is very easy to pick out, per se.

MATHS: Hardcore practicing. Nuff said. Ranging from application of Diff and Integn respectively, to figuring things out like graphs.

That's most of it.
I'm uh, bringing my file of the whole year's notes and tutorials, including TYS as well as some assessment books beginning Thursday @ VS, 1000h to 1600h. 1 subject per day. I'm bringing math tomorrow, so... take note, alright?

2008-11-24T05:01:00.000-08:00

I'm more tired and more pissed during the holidays.
Like, the bad and the irritating keep happening this whole month of November.
Like how the kid says it..

"Its the WORST NOVEMBER in my whole life!! :(( "

So, uh. Lemme list them down.

1) Caught dismantling PCs
2) Still stuck in counseling
3) Got 20 CIP hours as punishment, still having to decide what to choose
4) Re-downloading shitloads of notes to read through character-by-character.
5) Room got cleaned up by grandpa before I got to it - lots of things missing.
6) Kit-kat (like, way melted and overdue) Kitto Katsu collection destroyed by grandpa
7) That puny purple Ipod Shuffle (which is so damn rare for a 2GB) gone missing
8) Never lost (and thankfully, never gained) beyond my 84kg weight (oh damn.)
9) Scalp going worse
10) Got cut by a Swiss Army while opening dried mangoes, (cutting edge facing wrong way = 0.4mm)
11) Only been getting 7-hour (6-5) sleeps instead of the traditional annual 13-hour at this time.
12) Still stuck in gaming addiction (7 games in my 4th age Pentium 4 PC)
13) Lost a bunch of old artwork to silverfish.
14) Deleting a whole bunch of 0 byte files made on my desktop by irritating 8-year-olds
15) Getting accused for a whole lot of other things

Argh.
Fuck this. There's more than 15, but I'm stopping.

2008-11-21T22:00:00.000-08:00

Post number 199.

It won't be long before December archives would pop up for this blog.
Well, I can tell its gonna be much emptier.

Anyhow, irritation came back.
Nagging, irrational mum, the very last thing I wanted to happen after Friday, has happened.

This has got to be very irritating indeed.

Here's a "Well Done!" to you, you certain characters who reside within the recesses of the place which I am beginning to feel less and less inclined to like furthermore.

_|_

Anyway, Safi showed me this, so I show you too.
Though I particularly liked another joke, this one will do.

And yes, I am slow about this.

2008-11-21T04:40:00.000-08:00

I'm back.
Well, it ended.

And um. I dunno what to say, because. Uh.
There was nothing to say about.

Tell me about it. s:

What I can say is...
Outside my room now, my mom and grandmom LOLed at what happened.
Grandpa is like NOOOO where's your A's. NAWWWWWWW. :(

I'm like... uh. no more plz.

Oh btw, Violet sent me something... awkard today.
Very awkard at a time like this.

2008-11-20T22:06:00.000-08:00

That's it. Two bus rides to a chance for oblivion.
Can't feel any better than that right now.

.

2008-11-20T18:10:00.000-08:00

Today.
My mum and I are paying a visit to the Principal.

I dread the outcome, not the process.
I'm forlorn on the inside, expressionless and discontent on the outside.

2008-11-19T16:54:00.000-08:00

Been feeling more and more negative each day.
Very unlike last year, where towards every Christmas, everything bad is forgotten, everything good is amplified. Laugh it out at the dinner table and give that brown-haired vermin a noogie.

But this year, I've never felt myself getting heavier with each passing hour, each passing day, each passing week. It's not long before the next year commences. But, I'm too busy preparing for it...

Argh. Headaches, what can I do...

I'm being bogged down, probably realizing that this weight is probably too much to carry for me... Maybe I'm just not cut out to be special, maybe not special in the way I wanted to be.

Cold, frigid, and iced in the crotch.
I still remember the backup plan, a last desperate measure to live... Violet said it once, my teacher said it twice, and the school councilor said it for the umpteenth time.

".. Strip yourself of your armor of ego, your clothes of humility and your underwear of sanity. And streak down as fast as you can down the battlefield, very prone and subject to being pierced by arrows of sarcasm, and rapiers of shame. At least you can scream your way through to the end, shocking the others that the turtle has turned into a god damned lizard. Gets the job done anyway. Kukuku. :p"

".. I see that you have a lot of things... Too many things for you to handle this year... How about, you drop some of them so that you can focus on some of them... You should know how to take priorities, right?"

... Oh the differences of the same message. I'll leave it to you to guess which of the two was said by Violet and my teacher respectively.

I suppose JC really is a mad rush, those 2 years to me, would not count as an extension time to my four years of VS. More like a survival mission, like the one where you have to defend yourself from being getting zerg-ed in Starcraft.

Violet made the more sense to me, though... bias aside. Well, for someone close, erratic messages actually become cryptic messages. xD Well, for the dumb ones, and the numb ones, I'll just pitch to you some simple logic behind her 4-second-crafted thought that happened after my three-hour rant on the phone.. (:

You drop that armor, you drop your responsibility for yourself and others... Don't expect yourself to be that great bulwark anymore, you have become lighter and more agile, but with less constitution and armor value.

No helmet = greater pheriphal vision, you can notice where snipers are, though you won't survive a shot... But you can sense where they are now...

No chestguard = greater reflex and response... You'll become more defensive, now that you are bare, you'll become more aware and forced to shield yourself more often rather than be brash, crash into your enemies Warhammer style and hurt yourself in the process, albiet with armor.

No legplates = greater mobility... Like duh. Your feet will be hurt by calthrops, for certain. But at least, you can manuever that wicked terrain like a pakour pro, like some assassin in D+D (RIP Gary Gygax u-u) At least. You get to run, right? Not tumble into those trenches that were meant to be filled with corpses, not bumbling knights who were so needing that armor.

".. your clothes of humility, your underwear of sanity.."

Clothes easily identify your allegience, right? But then again, without clothes, you'll be seen as unarmed, so you'll be least likely to get attacked by others first. Though, the downside of being naked is quite obvious, you'll be NAKED, and you can be attacked by both sides, who cant tell where you come from.

Underwear? Well, in common Violetspeak and common sense, the rest of the guys would either be too shocked or too frightened to fight you. You get to run to the other end. Score one at the home run streak!

Fuu.
I guess, it's time. Ego, humility... Maybe not sanity.
I've had enough of being questioned for not having the third.

2008-11-18T21:57:00.000-08:00

Random stuff orz.

.

2008-11-18T21:47:00.001-08:00

Never felt so duped and hopeless and forlorn before.
Blah.

2008-11-13T04:12:00.001-08:00

Ok, to be awfully honest.
VJ teachers are too nice for me... It creeps the VS side of me so bad.

2008-11-11T07:21:00.000-08:00

Hmph.
Fine, I'll keep off your radar.

Fine, not like I really liked my position.
In fact I dont mind swapping it off LOR.

V26.
Boring place that made me slothy, gave me trouble, made me troubled, making others more troubled. Recent events made me determined to leave it.

Yay VS days relived!

In fact I returned there just this afternoon, to start off and finish planning the storyflow for animania's animation entry... Complete planning done in 1h37m..! Now got work to do, about that...

Met Mr Denny Au Yong again.. and whoa, it was like the old days.
And I forgot that uniform groups are to formally greet any teacher. Oh shi-...

Sigh. I'm missing out and leaked out some.

Anyway, things to rush, neither emo nor nostalgia - talk today.

Mamalade mix.

2008-11-09T05:53:00.000-08:00

It measured a 0.4 cm cut into my left thumb.

If I recall, it bled and bled. Though it still hurts now, if I accidently use it to drag anything hard with him. 7 minutes of bleeding after 0.4 seconds of numbness which followed 0.2 seconds of that searing feeling when you cut a packet of dried mangoes with a mini swiss-army blade with the wrong end facing.

Any angrier, it would upgrade from a laceration on the thumb to a puncture in the palm.

Yet, For some reason, when others chose to not recall the pain, I tried to recall the pain, yet cant seem to feel the pain, even if I remembered the exact magnitude of pain.

Now its still prone to opening up, especially when I risked my thumb by denying blood flow for 3 minutes, and leaving some blood to clot last night.

Amount of blood lost?

Uh, I dunno, my thumb was purple and cold to the touch when my other hand touched it (when I weapped a rubber band bind at the midsection.

Smell of iron, so tempting.
And NO. I'm not being an emo cutting himself with razors!

IF I WERE, I WOULD BE SAWING.

2008-11-08T05:08:00.000-08:00

Its this nightmare,
it was horrible, that nothing else shook me so bad.

Unfortunately, while it caused a chain of bad things to happen, however unlucky it was, my usual protocols to deal with them were altered due to the fear of that nightmare. I made it slightly worse, but that nightmare, would make these events that happened yesterday seem like a mosquito bite.

They would be nothing but an itch.

Because.

This is the first time I have no heart to continue typing.
Especially when I've decided to move on previously.

2008-11-05T15:10:00.000-08:00

50 resolutions.
Promise to have 20 done by December.

1 - Get a good PC
2 - Get a good scanner
3 - Get a cheapskate camera
4 - Get a cheapskate guitar
5 - Learn how to sew and embroider
6 - Learn how to cook Hainanese Chicken Rice
7 - Throw/Sim-Lim Sell/Give away/Karang-guni off at least 70% of my old game collection
8 - Clear away at least 30 out of a possible 50 kilos of paper and books inside bedroom.
9 - Revise O-Level syllabus within the month of November
10 - Revise A and O Level syllabus within the months of November and December
11 - Drop to 75kg by December 5
12 - Drop to 70kg by December 25
13 - Go back to bowing and shotgunning ONCE each
14 - Do my InR by today.
15 - Print my Source for my EoM by today.
16 - Buy clothes
17 - Kick something REALLY hard
18 - Do my solo musical
19 - Do my story for Art Coursework animation
20 - Do my story for Anigma
21 - Have Anigma proposal completed and accepted
22 - Give Violet a slap
23 - Kick Violet REALLY hard
24 - Get slapped by Violet
25 - Get kicked by Violet REALLY hard
26 - Destroy something in VJC
27 - Build something in VJC
28 - Conduct OG JTS
29 - Attend OG Dinner
30 - Get people to come for OG outing
31 - Start learning the violin
32 - Start learning music (again)
33 - Finish and delete my complete gameboy collection
34 - Get rid of my gameboys
35 - Be able to do 10 pull-ups by next year
36 - Learn 3Dstudiosmax properly (!!!)
37 - Get a good composing program
38 - Make a score
39 - Bring Violet to Vivo and Vividly Vi-member and Vi-miniscent.
40 - Dress Violet up as a loli
41 - Be able to craft an aluminum sword
42 - Be able to craft a wooden axe
43 - Learn my Art SOVA and do it for the third time in my entire life (!!!!!!!!)
44 - Bring my 2.4km down from 12.5m+ to 11m
45 - Bring my 2.4km down from 11m to 10m then to 9m
46 - Be able to play an electric guitar
47 - Do something nice with Violet
48 - Do something REALLY nice with Violet
49 - Do something UBER nice with Violet
50 - Do something NICE BEYOND ALL RECOGNITION with Violet

2008-11-05T15:07:00.000-08:00

So fast.
And I screwed up fast.

Wakakakaka.
Sigh-uhhuhhuh.

Dont think that I will be the 70% of the guys who get an A for PW, thats for certain.
But well, at least allow me to organize that national competition alongside like... 5 other H3 PW group members, okei?

Chinese is no more.

2008-10-30T06:55:00.000-07:00

Chinese is no more.
I'm glad. No more Chinese examinations.

But why hellllloo thar!

I'm a pioneer member of my Church's Chinese youth group.
That's very... :(

At least I speak English 80% of my time in there.

Reminiscence

2008-10-27T09:53:00.000-07:00

Reminiscence - Volume 1

No doubt. Its 1am, and its surprising that the allure of Kate Moss brings some inspiration to write amidst the silent night.

Besides, this blog's been nothing but a log of rants, reflections. But lately more rants and raves.
Not too good.

Amongst the hazy hum of the refrigerators and the drone of the fan.
Amongst the distant mingling of the mynahs down Upper Serangoon Road.
Amidst the cool, yet breeze-less night.

What shall I write?

Well, if it hasnt sounded anymore different, JC1 for me was 'obliterated', with my performance woefully under par and me becoming more disgruntled and swearing more often at home. A last-ditch effort helped pay off the problem with my academics, lo and behold: Straight Es and an S to think about for my raw scores. (With GP upgraded to a D).

Academics... Should have been not much of a problem, has now become one of the main things I should really have a sit-down and look-it-up. Seems that I would have to use that old method to study... Make a book per topic... Things like that... Talk about topics...

I'm very likely dropping to H1 Chemistry, still getting mum to be convinced, and its loking pretty good, though I would need some teacher support (aka credientials) to back up what I've said to her. I know, I can actually do well, looking at the topics covered, but I think, I'm going to have a little gamble with my keeping of H2 Physics instead of Chemistry. I'm realllllly needing all the time and brain and sleep to focus on the other subjects, very especially Art coursework, as well as this national animation competititon I'm making with the rest of the team at infocomm club..

Social life in JC1.

Hoh boy, you can say it was like a konk-ed out Daihatsu pickup - it starts off pretty nice and fierce, but breaks down halfway, crashes, and winds up with you having to take a longish time to fix it up quickly enough.

Sheesh, I really cant seem to get myself to socialize with my CT well enough, nor can I actually get back to my OG friends and OGLs, yet.

Yeah, I did make quitea handful of friends and acquaintances during this month, but this year... I feel that I really lack this strong helping hand which Violet gave me at home during my upper secondary days... But with her away enjoying all that jacuzzi and chic-shopping in the US doing her Computer Animation degree, I think school and home really have become quite the boring and dull place to be.

No, no, no... Not that my current friends are not friends, but more like...
You got it, a soul mate whos always there... s:

And PLEASE, not that kind of soul mate.
Bloody idiots who like to exclaim the word 'incest' right in my face...

Well, maybe its my mean-looking face, and beady eyes that look more mean and beady when I see people glare at me in return for my 'tired' look. Can't help it, when I smile, people think I'm being " :| " while when I really do the " :| ", they think I'm giving them a malovent stare.

Too bad, I never really kept a photo of my biological dad to show everyone.

CCA?

Quite a mess, it was OK at the beginning, but during pre-transit to EXCO and post-transit, I think I was in a huge state of distress and mess. Its really depressing to think that it really isnt half a year into office when your CCA is being merged with undisclosed CCAs, and worse. By the management.

Well, really... I didn't win anything under the name of Infocomm club, nor really did any biggish contribution in school service but to be that fat cameraman who appears during any event with a 5-year-old sony camcorder. The feeling just sucks, when I joined it in the first place to hopefully learn animation and show off my digital media skillz.

Now, I'm a video head, who actually taught the video head before me.
I even fixed two camcorders without Morgan knowing that they were actually broken in the first place. I recall that weird code appearing... Some weird condensation symbol...

"Oh, just remove the battery, and whack that bloody fella."

That removed the ages-long problem that the camera probably had, before I came to VJC.
Things like that...

I reallllly wanted to join lots of other CCAs while being just a proactive member in infocomm club, so that very fateful day after Vicomp's final year running, I was at a crossroads to reject the position of video head, because I realllllly wanted a presidential position, have big changes.

Well... I really want to leave my post nowadays, but oh well. It's just a namesake. I'm doing big changes in V26 right now - Moving things about and rewiring lots of PCs. Probably, I'll tackle the floor layout in lieu of the merging CCA next year... As long as I'm a video head, I'm in EXCO. So I'm Icomp exco, not that blardy video head.

Merger... I have no idea how the hell it came about, but at least, its for the better, I guess. But, having it merged without us knowing what the hell caused it, really isnt fair to begin with. One email that's signed off with a smiley really isnt called telling in advance... But with 6 MIA teachers, and our half a teacher (as in, one who is very busy, not meaning half of six makes three....) is going off to get a PhD in Chemistry, waow. And a HOD of IT who is really to busy to come.

For the better...

Anyways, we're doing an animation competition, with me being the the reigns of the competition, still bottlenecked at me having to make the storyline, competition, and event all streamlined to fit. Quite big, sooo... Asking for the proposal really isnt going to help, bleargh.

Just check in soon, after I'm done setting up the blog for year 2009.
By the way, I don't really like this one.

Noooo, not the design, but rather the blog itself.
Helluva ironic, the blog URL and the content.

Family, its ben pretty stormy this year, really. I realized when the school councillor talked to me, and asked me about it... s:

Pressure, Nagging, and lack of Violet and Luojing, a cousin doing animation, and an aunt doing interior design. So no people of my age margin to talk about from the beginning of the year, so it's kinda sucky for a change... So the only appeasing thing about home often boils down to my bed. Kukukuku.

Naggy grandma and ma, so naggy, that I find myself inadvertably swearing and cussing beyond my previous quo, and well... I would be so grateful for a arguement-less night, that the hymn "Silent Night" airs in my head. I know, JC is the crucial point of life atm.

And when O Level was required to be a store manager, it takes a degree in Accountancy to be a cashier. A level certification would probably give you something that's a little better than a MacDonald's Crew Cleaner... A Macdonald's Crew Cashier.

Cash has been a problem, albeit me living in a five-room HDB flat, it was bought cheap, so yeah. You know, Hougang estates were going at 10k an apartment, can't recall what grandpa said. Cash... Cant get me a good PC (till November), and really ached my heart when my dearest $40+ light sculpture couldnt be finished properly...

With my aunts losing a total of 120 grand, thanks to the Lehmanite scum... I really cherish my bed atm lol.

I havent been visiting my favourite uncles, and my Granduncle and Grandaunt who raised me since I was a baby... So maybe thats why Im feeling sick also... And the impression I see myself giving them, I dont really like it most of the time... So I really am looking forward to this December to talk to them in Malaysia... Too old to be that kid again, but... there's always space to re-appreciate old stuff, and things like the wet markets in malaysia that sooo own singapore's hands-down... Heheheh.

Well.

My DIRECT family.

Pah, well. I know mum goes anxious, and sometimes becomes waaaay too irrational in her arguements and throws tandrums, going about thinking I'm a hooligan who has a relationship and goes to weird places when I'm not at home (like, wtf... really you know. -.-) But, often at the end of the day (or maybe, till the next afternoon, she'll swing back and be fine, and its probably me or her, that it probably hasnt even happened at all...

Grandma, just like my Chinese teacher. Traditional, previous-gen people extremely capable of nagging your sanity out of your nostrils... But with my mum living in a time where the cane ruled, and with me living in the time where reason ruled and the rod was rusted... I guess, I better appreciate.

Sometimes, you ought to like them, and respect them for their concern towards you... But someitmes you hate them for not seeing things your way, and sometimes even going against you every other time. They're loud, they're blunt, and they think they can have their own way, so you and I would say.

Yeah, I'm pretty guilty that I even raised my voice at grandma once in defense of myself, but part of me still believes that its justified... But its mixed... Really dont want to delve much since it really did not matter much... Though behavourial experts and the elderly would pretty much disagree.

Being the eldest of my generation, really is some tough shit, and being the eldest fella of my batch and WANTING to be a groundbreaker (for going off the socially acceptable road of being a doctor/engineer/science teacher/researcher and wanting to go to animation...) is even harder.

All that nagging surely has to be because of that.
Come on, I came to VJC on a comprimise~!

Drawings and Writing... And Art also...

Drawing is endangered, and writing has gone extinct during these days... General paper does not have narratives, or descriptives... So flairing about with words like ebullience and exuberence would lead you spinning with embellishment when you get your result.

Sooo... While my writing creatively has been critically limited this year, my drawings were... off. Art made me adopt a lot of styles of my own and I went into a "style-crisis", very much like "identity-crisis"... And I kept off the internet radar.

Never recalled doing a proper digital colouring or photoshopping, except one for art project, but that was with a candid photo of me outside the art room...

Photoshopping per se... Well, I've COULD HAVE GOT some crefit for stuffs... Like being that designer for openhouse brochure, but it was outsources in the end... And lots of other photoshop stuffs gone unpaid and uncredited for. I was totally fed up when it crossed my mind that even if I did photoshop in infocomm, it was considered more like lame shit? >:(

Sigh, I really am spiteful. If I were in for Diploma in Illustration or Game Design and Development, things would probably have a change then. But heyheyhey, its VJC. So all the "what ifs" do not apply, waha!

Gaming~

I've become addicted, rather than being in love with the games that I play nowadays. I play out of boredom instead of out of inspiration. This is soooo unlike me. Gaming for me has morphed from gaming as an art, to gaming as an addiction... Very horrifying.

When there was A3, it was so breath-drawing and breath-taking, made me come up with lots of weapon designs and armor when i started out... When there was Rakion, there was heart-pumping action and the tremendous OH whenever Violet gripped me to death (sounds nice, too... kukuku~). Then, there was Pristontale, when there were nice little communities in the private servers. Then, there was Runescape, which was the epitome of my lower secondary days... Infinity Online, Silkroad Online, (Maplestory... o~o)... I played till I was always in the high levels, and everyone would go "what the hell" when I bragged my accounts.

Ohohoh, and Lunia Online, especially.
Oh the romantic fighting with and between Violet and I~ <3

Ever the fiesty warrior and 'combat healer' (first coined by us, then it spread)... Violet and me respectively... And yeah, I didnt get the order wrong. Violet was that guy who PvPs like a korean and I was that healer who can solo almost any boss alone.

Well, it was a nice journey, till those fucktardees deleted Foriel (Asian Global) server instead of Soldin (U.S. Global) . For the first time I was more angry than Violet was in a game.

Ha~

Now, I find myself playing shit games, and gameboy advance emulators (ok, there are games FEW and FAR between that are DECENT, otherwise, they SUCKETH IN GENERAL)... Flash games, minesweeper, hearts, spider solitare, bridge (and thankfully not this wiwawa shit... was it called zany bridge, huh?)...

Ok, there's only Cabal Online. But I'm soooooo

sooooo

soooooo

ALONE.

.... whyyyyyyy.
And Violet is happy with... Being that chic girl who shops and enjoys her jacuzzi. x(

I wonder if the True Gamer within us both have died.

All the inspiration.
All the love.
All the friends.
All the competition.
All the journey from level 1 to undefined.

Allllllllll gone.

I'm unhappy.
RULEFULLY unhappy about it.

I'm so gonna do something about it sometime.
And btw, I cant seem to appreciate DoTA (yet I enjoy WC3), though it'll be some time before I really can play and appreciate it at the same time.

I think... I have to stop doing up this reflection atm. Its 2.18 am.
Bah, I'm sleepy again.

Oh no oh no.

2008-10-27T09:46:00.000-07:00

Its strange.

Not only do I have mood swings of my own, I cause people to have attitude swings without them knowing it.
It's funny, thinking about it.

Anyways, internet and Word are screwed, I'm having to work it out early in the morning.
Bah.

2008-10-25T00:51:00.000-07:00

Yay, recovered within an hour. Its 3.52 pm on the PC clock, and I haven't played Cabal ever since trying to ricochet the bad and gloomy thoughts out of my head an hour ago.

Meanwhile, I sense a long day of Chinese with mom. Second-in-line Chinese Teacher. Dammit, but not-so-dammit at the same time.

Its just that I can't prove much that I've recovered until Art Re-assessment, and CT 1, where this very negative debuff called "Naggerliche" wears off, or worse, stacks. Look below for more info on this very obnoxious debuff:

PS: You ought to understand if you've played WC III and WOW thoroughly enough.

Naggerlicher
Debuff
0 mp, instant cast

Effect:

- Decreases opponent's Endurance, Intellect, Energy, and Patience by 70%
- Decreases maximum Mana or Energy by 10% every 2 days.
- Permamently decreases opponent's constitution by 2% every week
- Every 12 hours, there is a 30% chance for the opponent to be afflicted with the following debuffs: Enraged, Confused, Stunned. (See: Enraged, Confused, Stunned)
- Every 1 month, there is a 2% chance for the opponent to be afflicted by Doom (See: Doom)
- The debuff cannot be dispelled, by dispel effects or by death.
- The debuff will wear off if the opponent scores over 70 Ranking Points in JC2 Common Arena Season 1, OR not wear off if otherwise. In that case, the effect will be recast and stack on the previous buff.

Wiki: The GM is known to be the only caster of the spell.
GM stands for Grand Ma (Level ?? ('Grand' Boss) )

2008-10-25T00:21:00.001-07:00

Dumbasses.

I hate.

I hate.

I hate.

I hate.

I hate.

Irritating people.

So irritating.

So irritating.

So irritating.

So irritating.

You know, privacy just isnt the best policy sometimes. Old people think that seeing me play a hour and a half at home gives them weapons-free to shoot me with their especially irritating dialects about me and university.

That when I spent at least 5 times more on Chinese, PW, Vectors and Coursework combined out of home during the whole bloody week.

Damn old people. Irritating geezers who do nothing but gawk and groan.

They're old.

They're old.

They're old.

They're old.

And stingy relatives that are even more stingy then relatives that are not my direct relatives. Losing 120k to Lame Men after NOT wanting to fund my pc funds not totalling over 1.3k. And nag at my mom and insult her job when she asks them to write up a check for my bus fare while her paycheck is being banked in at POSB.

Scrooges.

Scrooges.

Scrooges.

Scrooges.

Scrooges.

I'm SO FRUSTRATED.

Why is it when I put to close one problem, more old bones spring up form the ground to battle? Argh, someone get me my flamethrower and lemme have at them.

Argh.

Argh.

Argh.

I dont bloody care if I dont want to go to Medicine Courses that demand ranking points of 90 and beyond. Neither do I bother about...

ARGH.

Can't scream and shout and kick around at home.
And neither can I just leave the place to run to the East Coast and tire myself out.

FRUSTRATIONNNNNNNNNNNNN.
FUCK YOU. _|_

Irritating.

2008-10-25T00:10:00.000-07:00

Irritating.

Irritating.

Irritating.

Irritating.

Irritating.

Irritating.

Irritating.

Damn la.

2008-10-22T10:31:00.000-07:00

It's painful.
It was painful.

But I hope I can make a twist this year.

I'm gonna bag an A for Chinese.
Thank you Violet, and no thank you for the collect HANDPHONE call billed to me.

2008-10-22T02:23:00.000-07:00

A child meant to die at birth.
Has lived for seventeen years so far.

I cant think of what to write, even after staring at that phrase for the past 38 minutes.
I think, I was crying?

But what are these tears for?
Are they... justifiable?

.

2008-10-21T04:27:00.000-07:00

It's hard to swallow.
But the prospect of the interview is...

Bad.

Hmph.

2008-10-19T06:35:00.000-07:00

Well, like they always said it,
"You can write it all wrong on the paper, but you can only write on life once."

Boy, I think I wasted one whole chapter writing crap.
Applies to both.

2008-10-13T14:39:00.001-07:00

I realized I was stupid enough to put this in my class blog.
Wah seh.

Good good.

Uh, I think I've been neglecting my blog.
Anyhow, within the weekend and this Monday morning...

Total slack, total bull. Totally hated Mother Tongue, and how PW WR actually coincided SO much with MT. It's boring just SO deep into my head I'm going to be really mad.

Missing LOHEL drive saga, irritated dry throat, missed math lesson (fukupw :c), art project (feeling so guilty to jump boat in the middle) more stuff.

Even more stuff.

AND EVEN MORE STUFF.

I am just -->| |<-- this close to wanting to break into my 64-hour sleeping streak.
Just three more weeks and I'll do that, for real.

Cut off from the world, cut off from all the monotone, the duotone and the the mono sounds of my naggy and LOUD family who were rueful about my E-E-E-E-?. Art is out on Wednesday. Bloody hell.

Considering that I don't recall showing Mr Tang my sculpture that cost me $40, I'm in a oh-gawd where is my FUCKING PLASTISTICKS TO SUPPORT MY SCULPTURE ARGH.

And results are on Wednesday.
I want to sleep.

Not even two MUGS of concentrated kopi-o-dino is going to help.
I WANT TO SLEEP.

NOW.

2008-10-13T11:56:00.000-07:00

What?

What's wrong?
I know its 3am, so what?

Very ironic, here I am doing PURE editing good enough for a magazine - photoshopping headers, realizing that some biblos don't match and some biblos seem to be unlinked, and have to check where they are, etc etc.

Not to mention having to go to popular to buy 10g paper, tabs, dividers, binders (for my outaged binding machine which I have not used since my Primary School Health Education project on why I should brush my teeth everyday, that caused me to cut up 4 of my favourite info-books, getting a A+ in the end, while having extremely sticky goey hands thanks to my non-toxic mickey mouse glue), and thinking of buying REFILLS for my HP deskjet 3320 photoprinter twhich would cost about 70 SGD (but gets me more points on my Challenger account), double-checking the print alignments, redoing some of the diagrammatic images which had off-crops and misalignments, (no Dahlia, your graphs are mighty fine, really.), blurry text which are bad for print, yada yada yada yada monkey socks on a camel nose which becomes a superfluous error that got carried forward.

Than i got an OG dinner (and movie, wao) TOMORROW.

I think my 20 SGD is brings up this nagging message of SEVERELY UNDERFUNDED, while the WR has to reach Mrs Koh's hands BEFORE the OP lecture, which is actually in fact a scam of at least half an hour of panicking into injury time at the second floor of V block.

Seriously man, I hate Chynes, Chynees, CHYNESSS.

Chinese.

Gues what? It's just 3.03 am.
I'm totally high on my kopi-o-dino. Where ppl actually thought milo dino was crazy enough.

And I'm actually writing a WR on Food and Nutrition.

HA.

2008-10-08T05:49:00.001-07:00

Gurgling anger,
Lots, pent up inside.

So bad, my throat is killing me.
I so feel like grabbing that bottle and throwing it at that banshee of a mum.

Yet, I managed to control, again.

Someone please being A Level Chinese forward.
It's something I dislike, and I get the journey I dislike.

I am boiling.
Just like that kettle that's whistling hard before it's going to hurl its very hot steel lid at your pudgy face to dent and scald it.

2008-10-07T02:45:00.001-07:00

Today, during all the damage control, had I learnt that I'm not the only one who chugged anti-depressants/anti-happys.

...

2008-10-07T01:08:00.000-07:00

I was content.
I was content.

I was "disheartened. yet content", quote my own words.
I studied, indeed.

Practiced? No.

Very true, I did pass everything (GP results remaining).
But, pass, means pass.

Then, it turned out that I was unhappy.
Very, very, very unhappy.

I was content to not get re-papers for my Orientation, but the question popped, in verbatim of what was said.
"What if you aren't making the mark for being an OGL?"

It was only then I realized I am a disaster.
I -am- indeed a disaster, not only in this context, but my past, not just my present, ARE disasters...

How the hell did I become content with E's?!

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

I... am really queer.

Now I don't know what I'm feeling. Probably post-traumatic shock, or conditioned anxiety. Psychologist's lingo.

Maybe, in a much more literal and direct sense... I could probably be ANGRY, and DISSATISFIED.

Rusty steel claws of the old lust for perfection will erupt from the blessed old ground of time, tear me down, and reestablish the old me which everyone were once awed and spiteful of. Made me lose 2 years of my life drowned crazily in pride and insolence. It was terrible. And now, I'm afraid those claws would do it again.

Yet, it is now considered justifiable, now... Or so do the current situations mandate.
I'm now scared.

Afraid.

I'm scared that the old... claw in me would dig out of me and leave me rampaging.
And cause me to die a death that was meant to be 2 years ago, I'm afraid.

I'm... scared.

I'm... certain there will be a day I'll... RIP EVERYONE APART.
CARELESS, I AM, CARE LESS, I WAS. And CARE LESSED caused it.

I'm so awfully... awful.

Ugh.

Will the old take over, I do not know how to answer that.
But, at this rate...

...

I think so.

What.

2008-10-05T23:17:00.000-07:00

I was most confident.
Careless became the problem yet again.

90's to 50's.

I'm heartbroken. but neither am I depressed.
It pains, yet it feels... odd.

I wonder.

Damn.

2008-10-05T07:02:00.000-07:00

5 bagels from Doughnut Empire gave me a run, a dry throat, and lots of flu. Talk about a glowing nose.

Uh, yeah. Tomorrow is going to be a sunny day, I hope.
And my handphone is irritating me more and more.

So is that pesky eraser.

2008-10-04T06:38:00.000-07:00

Bah..!

Whyyyyyyyy.
Not Sunday, but Monday.

Superbands, families, friends, CCAs.

Has to be a monday.

And monday isself reeks of destruction and doom.
Blah.

2008-10-02T08:55:00.001-07:00

I've come to a crossroads.

And it's a bloody pain in the ass, while some things stuck out here and there,
while others you have to settle before you go on.

Anyway, here's me hoping this Sunday's OG DINNER would be good.
Now I wonder when would the OUTING be ready.

Shirt designs shown during dinner
Shirts and gifts during outing after A Levels.

That's got to be a very very evil idea.
Very evil indeed.

Now I have to wait and see.
Would the all-over be chosen over the standard print?

Whoa, $$$.

Have to find the printers asap sia. =x
Hope no one from Thirant knows of this post. (>''<)

2008-10-01T11:46:00.001-07:00

Like, there seems to be much hope,
then there seems to be not at all, in a flashes' notice.

I'm not bemused, neither am I angered.
I must be mad.

Now someone get me my A level certificate and get me out of here.

I'm just... bored of being in a JC.
It's like there's nothing left worth fighting for, somehow.

Mmm, too premature a thought, I'm afraid.
Maybe it's just the unusual boredom of freedom that comes with freedom itself.
So they say "With every Freedom, comes a price."

Yet, I'm feeling restless, yet forlorn at the same time, somehow.
It's really hard to explain.

Life feels too slow, or too fast, not just right, for some odd reason, too.
Sometimes I'd wish time were reversed, while at others, I would rather skip chapters and this gaudy ass on.

Then again, it's this unusual boredom that compels me to think such silly stuf.
And note, my friend - boredom does not spell free time.

I'm bored of being in this meat machine of the Singaporean education system.
Thank God I've only got about less than a year left before being subject to another meat machine, before in turn, being allowed a choice for the first time.

Sheesh.
Makes me want to spit when I read my cousins' copy of Young Generation... You get to choose hobbies at 7 years old? Tell me that after 12 years of linear education.

Bah.

Mmm.

2008-09-29T09:49:00.000-07:00

Anyway.

Things to do this week (looks more like tommorrow only nya):

1) Morning Meeting with Infocomm EXCO
2) Morning RUN.
3) Thirant Tee dry print (CHIONG BEFORE FRIDAY ARGH.)
4) Thirant Minis final print and gloss
5) Evening GYM.
6) Runescape/Cabal Online for the rest of the day/night.
7) Occasionally add in to this rather... big drawing.
8) ART PROMO VIDEO PROJECT AND SCULPTURE PROJECT OMGWTFIAMGONNADIE.

2008-09-29T09:44:00.001-07:00

ARGHHHHHH.

WHAT TO PLAY WHAT TO PLAY WHAT TO PLAEEEEEEEE.

THERES CABAL ONLINE LOLOLOL

THERES SOMETHING EVEN EVER EVEN BETA

ITS RUNESCAPEEEEEE

IN THREE DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Damn la.

2008-09-26T07:51:00.000-07:00

Physics, you are hereby declared the most slutty subject to Winssu-nism.

Simply because this has got to be the second time you have went back against me. The first being the O Levels, when I expected much, MUCH more, you went back on me.

So the problem was about not spending enough time with you, huh? No matter the quality time I gave you?

Physics you bitch, you were my second favourtiiest subject, second to Mathemathics.
Sorry, I think I had too much Lemon Bitters, sour enough.

As promised to some:
Today I am going to put this in my blog...

"Raining, arh? Ok lor, then we stay back in VJC study Physics."

2008-09-23T21:54:00.000-07:00

Before this morning, 4 people wanted me to be their OGL.
After this morning, 9 people want me to be their OGL.

What about me? A one-man OG, just like those poor freshmen during O2?

I can forget about A, quite skeptical of B, and very confident of a C.
Overall, I'm skeptically forgetting about the prospect of H3 Chemistry.

2008-09-23T10:12:00.000-07:00

And it's no less than 5 hours when the bulkhead of the Promotional exams will betide us.
Indeed, some of my old studious self (as with my older language) have dubiously ebbed back into me...

Well, be it that you're about to sleep at a god-forsaken hour, or just came back spinning from the giddiness that is the Chemistry Papers, looking here for some mugging advice, look no farther - there'll be no step farther.

Only this little piece of advice.

See; Don't Look,
Listen; Don't Hear,
Think; Don't Ponder.

Gragh.

2008-09-22T21:16:00.000-07:00

It started as a activity out of boredom at 10pm.
Well, I finished The Da Vinci Code in 8 hours.

Damn I better finish the remaining of my practice rounds of Chemistry by 1.30pm after Cabal.
... orz.

Lol.

2008-09-22T07:54:00.000-07:00

I wanna be the very best
like no one ever was
To catch them is my real test
To train them is my cause

I will travel across the land
searching far and wide
Each pokemon to understand
the power that's inside

Pokemon! its you and me
I know its my destiny,
Pokemon! Oh you're my best friend
in a world we must defend
Pokemon! a heart so true
Our courage will pull us through,

You teach me and I'll teach you,
Pokemon! gotto catch'em all

Every challenge allong the way
with courage I will face.
I will battle every day
to claim my rightful place.
Come with me,
the time is right,
there's no better team.
Arm in arm we'll win the fight!
It's always been our dream!

2008-09-21T06:53:00.001-07:00

Hahaha.

I just realized Promos are in less than 3 days.
Its faster than I expected, really.

Well, practice time. I had my fair share of Cabal today.

What.

2008-09-21T02:39:00.000-07:00

I'm like, taking a waltz step back, and took a little look at things before I continued with my practice papers.

Upon reading this, I would like to remind whoever reads this be aware that this are my personal feelings and opinions, you may choose to be offended at your own discretion then choose to return the favor publicly or privately at your own choice. (:

My thoughts of my VJC J1 experience in a nutshell.

I came to VJC with Prelims 7, and O's 8.
Probably one of the crazier freshmen who wouldnt mind having dark chocolate pattered over his face when marshmallows were dropped by his fellow Theodorian Thirants.

One of the craziest freshmen who went on stage for Chicken Dance, despite the posible worries of image, and shit.

One of the freshman who still brought his saikang skills with him, and got titled Saikang Legend/Legionnare, instead of Saikang Warrior (Like, wth. -.-)

Alongside Mayer and Sherman, I was the one organizing outings for Thirant, though I was the one who did more failed ones towards June, which is arguably renowned as the OG-mood killer period. Yes, it would seem that Thirant also seemed to have been cast off during this time... Me and Mayer still went on sending sms-es while getting some responses with limited success.

I was determined, and had a path set in mind - Previously ardent about heading to Polytechnic, and then choosing to go to VJC on a compromise with my family, and a 'flawless compromise' of my subject combination...

When it did not seem to matter than, my ideal combination of Physics, Mathematics, TSD, Computing. Was removed from me, announced by VP Mr Goh while everyone else was learning the La Bamba.

Got my assignment to 08S43, apparently a top-of-the-line rojak class. There were talents, coming from I.P., and so on, so forth... I recall giving up my seat to a Cat High Guy (who is Xuan Yi), and let him sit and mingle with another Cat High Guy (who's Lennart)...

Thereafter, people such as Ranika and Liu Yi left, and in came a couple of people, Si Wei and Jian Xu. Perfect VS specimens, in a good and bad sense. Of course, the rowdy side inculcated into me by my ala mater wouldnt mind. But however, the other end, aka THE ASS (jokingly-literally and figurately) was worried that the class may become spoilt by the change. There was already Han Hao and Ren An, and Ian Ho, who was rather inert, then, being a 'half-blood'.

Yes, I was already seething after a week of the timetable, that I could hardly have the chance to properly and frequently interact with any of my OG friends as much as I would like to. But no, there was no space for that - S4 and S3 lecture groups are completely off.

"Nevermind." I reminded myself, I'll see how things go.
I swear, that shouldnt have been done.

Probably one of the most turbulent times that I went through prior to re-therapy, would be O2 times. Probably O2 could have been epitomized by what made me feel so indifferent to VJC now. It was the least of the troubles, yet labeled the most significant in my own history - probably because it was the first.

In short, "There is a lot of promise, but despite how much you try to compensate for it, or console youself. You would inevitably become truly disappointed by the lack of response you get."

And indeed, this curse carried on, straight through till the Mid-year exams. Complacency, self-loathing, arrogance towards my academics, brought a fall to myself. E-D-E-E-D-S. And the shock came in that my forte, Mathemathics, was the S.

This brings me to my CCA - Infocomm Club.

I was a rookie persuaded and obliged to join, after following my compatriots, Ryan and Gordon to join. Tradition beckoned as well, having our most promiment VSITClub members joined in the ranks in previous batches.

I joined as a graphics designer, creative guy. Though my profession was visual graphics, my career, which I got in the end. It was AGONY.

No, I'm not being a hypocritical jackass here. I'm obliged to do a good job and keep whatever I'm having a stake in tidy, both literally and figurately. I signed for President or nothing else in the EXCO selections, and instead got Video Head - having my talents seen in video, which i picked up while being a video rookie who took on documentation events, duties, and assignments, and learnt, innovated, tried from scratch.

For someone who knew nothing about camcorders, who figured how to fix a rather intimidating fauty camcorder through the internet. It was probably glorified luck at first - the position was held by Colin and Ivan 4 and 3 batches back respectively - people I admired.

At first, reluctance came in - I was already tired from having to make myself skip lessons (seemingly without guilt, as it would sem to others), to do videos, to be excused from lessons or not, to run deadlines and rush the not-so-wildly-successful End of Term 2 Video, that was lost.

I was fighting myself - The precarious, ever calculating me, versus the ever faithful and duty-bound me. The latter won, and it was turmoil that followed.

Hitherto, my Mid Year results with Ranking Point 45.
Maybe it wasnt infocomm to blame, but indeed it did create complications, no doubt.

I succumb to sloth sometimes, and end up playing when I was supposed to work, and when I am playing, I find myself working sometimes. Then there was this time I abstained from pc's for 2 weeks, on strike against myself.

Moving on, I seemed to become rather infamous, mostly because of skipping the lessons, as well as my bearish attitude when I was on antidepressants. I missed some golden opportunities for friendships, having given many a wrong impression and going and gone against some teachers whom I did not intend to.

It was horrible. Nightmarish. Dsyfunctional.

I was probably at my wit's end. Should I blame myself and restart the same old depression mode I had, which would negate my existence that was preserved well 3 years ago? Or should I put the blame on others and trample them down, like I used to 5 years ago?

I was on wits end. Lack of a great friend to talk to, and old friends having found new friends to talk to while I found myself none, and having my greatest friend and partner moving ahead to pursue a greater goal.

It was pure idiocracy at it's best.

...
A long while for pause, seen as apathy by some during the months of July and August, I shut down, then decided to run secretly when I came back on...

Now it's a run to promote to JC2.
I'll write the complete, revised memoir when I get my Promos' result slip.

Until then.

Lol!

2008-09-19T10:02:00.002-07:00

Like, I'm gonna sound like I'm on crack lol.

I was having the longest dream in 4 hours for the whole year - from bombings in trains, and sudden weird transitions...

And I dreamt things that seemed to have continued from dreams I had at least 2 years back! WT-? Like this RPG I had in mind, and I met up with my old Neopets Boards friends (that never existed)... IRL, and we adventured like old adventures... Remembering that the quest cannot be complete 'cuz there was one idiot who warped to another world with a key item (a key), and the game can never ever be completed... "hours" of nothingness and floating around (there was a fan blowing at me while I slept). Nostalgia plz.

Then was me appearing amongst some celebrities, while the celebs were waiting NDP-cheerleading style, while preparing for thei shows in some performance...

Then it came to... ... to weird lift systems at my block's void deck where I have to lie prostrate on my belly when the elevator shaft hits the top - and a huge explosion and fire happened.

Then, I find myself saving fires, using spray hose, and when the fire brigade arrived. While being allowed to pick some special equipment to help, I was told to take this very very odd test to prove my worth as a firefighter... Hong Kong Firefighter somemore (it was very obvious it was from that hong kong movie I saw not too long ago... but hey, I'm dreaming, I cannot be aware.)

The test was so damn livid thatI cand raw it out and you can call it a surealist comic - I was crawling through pipes which were like SO THIN, and it could wrap up anytime (it was called the panty-hose tunnel, if I recall correctly), and make me struggle... I saw this command on my screen interface that I can press F to initiate escape device to end the test if it was too hard...

I passed the frigging test of pipes, and translucent pipes... Omg.

Then I was saving more fires, more fores erupted from my neighbourhood locks, and suddenly, I was in another scene... Saving fires as a level 38 firefighter. Then I saw one huge pipe swing off its hinge (a la Hong Kong firefighter movie which name I forgot)... And then...

PAK.

I opened my eyes, and saw bright white light that looked quite real leh...
After stoning for at least 38 seconds, I realized its in the real world, and my mum was stunned beyond comprehension...

While filing my school files on the drawer that looms right next to (and almost aove) my head, the metal divider somehow flew off and thankfully, hit me in the chest, when the piipe hit me in my dream.

Walau! I thought I moved onto another scene....
Slept from 3 till 6, but it seems that it was a 8 and possibly felt like 13-hour dream..!

I tell you, I'm so high I wanna finish promos and go back to sleep more.
See if I did become a level 40 firefighter...

2008-09-19T10:02:00.000-07:00

Violet's challenge:

Write a Middle English-y Shakespeare-y poem to charm ye ole English-y noble women.
(Actual MSN question: What if Shakespeare had been flirty? o: )

My answer:

For Silence is golden indeed!
'Ere it comes, more Silence it beget first.
Yet Man be wealthier with gold, not Silence!

Naught is the price of Silence,
Yet Silence maketh fraught them who wanted not Silence.
Yet Silence be returned twicefold

And Silence be returned thricefold!
Yet Silence is wanted not, yet traded with hesitation none
Yet Silence is freely given, a gift of compare to the gift of Silence that hath bestowed on the giver!

Who be blast for the gift of Silence!?
Yet Silence dumbs, and Silence mutes
Yet Silence dulls, and kills friends plenty!

Silence hath maketh me fraught.
Here I wonder, if Silence was beget by I or betide by thee.
Silence hath irritated thee and I.

(PS - Edited some bits, because they were all taken from my chat and slapped here. :\ )

Sian la.

2008-09-18T23:18:00.000-07:00

Lurh.
Lurhlurhlurhlurh.

LURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRH.

I wanna sleep and get promos over and done with, especially CHINEES.
I wanna get Open House done for, go for my OG dinner and pre-A level party, and give away my OG gifts.

I wanna THINK OF MY H2 ART COURSEWORK.

NYAHHHHHHHHHHH.

Wheee.

2008-09-17T21:56:00.000-07:00

To begin with, GP was kinda whack.
But since many other VJ peoples will be ranting about it, I shall be different.

Today was more or less a smooth sail...
.. though some bits made me cuss when and after I submitted my essay. Sigh.

Paper 1 was really fun at first - because I hit the spot of Artists vs Scientists. Wrote flowery-powery philosophical (and verbose) stuff, while plopping in an experimental essay structure... Which didn't turn out quite neat, since my two extended points took one whole side each, considering each of them were continous paragraphs.... orz. -_-;;

Well, I did not have time for writing till I was wholly satisfied, and I saw some spelling errors coming along... Time limit made me forcefully conclude (ouch.) and cuss really loud. (Sorry for my loud whispering of KNS, folks! o: )

Paper 2 would prolly be the bane of everyone in GP, while a friend of mine was rejoicing his KI, and another was reading this odd book about taking off bras without fumbling (apparently, it was a 60,000-word novel with NO 'E's at all.)... pretty amazing stuff, and obviously not in the peverse sense. xD

Well. It was about CHICK LIT AND DIC- I mean LAD LIT AND SLUT LIT (oops. I was quoting from the passage you know. ;p ) Well, some questions made me spin, had to rack my brains, and summary was prolly my "oh mah gwash whadda hack" section of the paper, while others couldnt attempt AQ as much as they'd like to. :|

Well, hearing the funny jokes about writing AQs for summaries and summaries for AQs, and some lit people being insulted and all... Had a little banter with the floorball guys, talking about my portable sauna of a russian-conscript-like jacket (out of nowhere)... And well...

Emo part, ok? REWIND.

This morning, it was really quiet... hushed minglings in the canteen, and I went out cloudsighting again... It was strange today... Like... It was unusually cloudy, and then a REALLY spectacular thing happened...

It was the usual soaring bird (looks like a black seagull (?I dont know if it really is an eagle?) )... It was soaring, soaring, while the planes were flying into the then-creulean sky... Then the (gonna assume its an eagle) eagle flew away from its usual spot above the foilage of trees by the track... And I turned my head to look at it (I was wearing my high-powered convex specs, so my eye movement's restricted...)...

Then birdy fly away sooaring... I turned back to its original spot and then...

HOH MY GOD today's sky is just so amazing..! (Damn I should start bringing a decent camera) Clouds from low altitude to uber high-and-above... creamed in vermillion, saffron, scarlet and azure white....! Differnent patterns and shapes and heights! Argh! Estascy for a newbie cloud-gazer!

But then... More of them morning-clouds-coated-in-saffron came past and bloacked out the view that lasted a brief while...

Like, wow. It's an unusual sight for me today... I think Jeebuz is trying to tell me something..! o:
I think he must be telling me something somewhat like... "You gotta be fast today kid, you would have a lag, then be inspired by something to digress before coming to something pretty for a short while before your imagination will fail u, lol."

Well, it did kinda apply to both papers for me today.

Anyway, Imma rewarding myself with more Cabal playing before some beauty sleep and doing tuition practice papers and going to tuition.

Not saying that it rained only when I settled down at home after my bus trip today. :D
Fwee~~!

2008-09-17T06:47:00.001-07:00

Huh.
I played cabal and drew lots just now.

I shall now punish myself by doing a complete GP paper.
Goodnight.

Wakakaka.

2008-09-17T04:25:00.000-07:00

Finished Chem SPA 30 minutes before submission.
I was sitting there for the longest time staring at other people writing away..

And I thought I couldn't make it in time.

Had a 4-hour nap, feeling 180% refreshed, and am gonna have some good fun with GP.
And damn I didn't play Cabal today.

Well, at least there's 2x exp for my characters resting offline.
Playing more tomorrow.

Lol!

2008-09-16T04:23:00.001-07:00

Well, today was whack.

Started off realllllly sleepy and tired and all.
Reached school early.

Then, I had a little banter with some classmates, realized I missed my sunrise, left for the art room to play some guitar. Packed my stuff early when...

"Oh shittt I gotta shi-"
Long story short, I think half of me came out within 18 minutes in the toilet. -.-

Ran to lab, was 3 minutes late, and 4 minutes into SPA I realized that my two calculators were left in the toilet... orz. =_=;; Thankfully, a great classmate behind me had a spare calculator, while my two were left in the stinking hole.

... Fairly easy enough, no big deal.
Finished 12 minutes before the test ended. Must be that my pace was picking up. :D

Then, chatted some more, and even more. About SPA, Maths, exams, and running around the park. :p I became hyper out of the blue after 18 techno tracks, and well. Ran in my neighbourhood park and danced at home... double orz.

Best, I fell asleep for 4 hours, before waking up to play more Cabal. =x
I think my pace is gonna start slow again tomorrow.

Whee.

2008-09-15T07:19:00.000-07:00

Had strawberry yogurt again.
Right after medicine when I went to the doctor's.

Thereafter, started getting some inspiration for Graphite while multitasking with some C-D SPA (Affecting the main result? Impacts? Logs and Lawns? GAAASP. D: )

I was about to cook some cream of mixed-vegetables-and-chicken-sausages when...
The phone rang and hey, its my aunt taking me to the Traders Hotel's CafeBiz+ .

Like, hokei, I'm sick. But a buffet for free? That's nice.

Nonono you shuttup plz.
Free food is nice. Free Shangri-La hotel buffet is even nicer. c:

Took some reading stuff, and changed, left and got picked up midway on my bus trip (lol.) and then... Went to a certain very nice place. The floor was so well carpeted, I could feel my shoes sinking inside. (It was an exaggeration, but if you can FEEL it... Well.)

Lots of very nice food, started with minors such as fried rice with salted fish (ThaiPan?)... Steamed fish fillets in abalone sauce with I-can-remember-what... Then Cream of Asparagus, Then Teriyaki Chicken, Something-that-tastes-like-turkey-and-I-think-it-is with cranberry stuffing, and country potatoes something. Then, indian chicken-something with stir-fried beef-something, and mixed veggies...

Main course, huh.

Then, I skipped the sashimi (I'm already sick and I'll DIE on this one.), though I wondered how I got to resist the temptation of large raw prawns, scallops, oysters, sashimi-sushi. But oh well, I skipped sashimi. Buu huu. ):

DESSERT.

Spam arh. Mousse galore, with the tiny cups, HOLYMOLY CHOCOLATE TRUFFLE CAKE WITH IMBA TEXTURE AND CHOCOLATENESS, and cake-spoons with green-tea cakes on a table-top freezer, kinda reminds me of the one used in Ice Cream Chef...

Oh ya, there was a 3-feet-tall chocolate fondue.
And it's authentic, THIC chocolate that will harden when cold.

Had fun making my vanilla ice-kachang topped with coconut-jackfruit-vanilla ice-cream with chocolate rice and sprinklez from the chocolate fondue. Looks real nice. Quote myself during one fine evening Art class.

Afternoon Delight!

Then, came home at 4pm (oh shitttttttt) then fell asleep.
Mom's keys lack the wooden door's. So I woke up with her bumping about. Amazing when I had my bedroom door closed and I was woken up by the bump-bumping-bumping.

Had Math's tuition. My head's getting much more sharper and keener than before, but my old problem of failing to understand question reuirements has yet again failed me.

Arghhhhhh.

Then here I am, after missing 112, and taking MRT back home once again in 4 weeks.
Whee.

I think I'm gonna be one of those loners in VJ canteen tomorrow at 6.50am. (Maybe the only one? :D ) Watch more sunrise and stone on the podium. Catch the morning breeze, run about, bathe, and go for my SPA.

Hahahajajaja.

Damn.

2008-09-14T09:08:00.000-07:00

I cut myself while having some yogurt.
Strawberry tastes like blood when I scoop up with my finger.

Gee.

Anyways, I will come up with a new blogskin once I'm done with promos.
Meanwhile, I'm not sure what to do with Graphite.

Wah Lao Eh.

2008-09-11T08:15:00.000-07:00

You know, for one.

Sometimes, I'm pretty up-and-going, especially when I watch the morning sunrise in school, makes me want to sprint all the way to the finish while smacking that huge fat grin on my face.

Aspirations aplenty, and inspirations infinite.

Then again, sometimes I find myself getting a weeeeeee too lofty for my own good. Especially when the things that have been planned very, very thoroughly do not go on as intended.

Take today.
Today was just like every other day.

Starts off VERY promising, and somehow, something REALLLY small gets in the way and makes even the most ginormous monoliths of ego and confidence come crumbling down in a sweeping blow.

It happened not once, but TWICE today, considering that this phenomenon has occured COUNTLESS times already, and has put me in many a turbulent time (and temper, too.) This makes me go "WHY WHAT THE F-".

This is making me feel like shit, and makes me feel like taking a bloody chair and clobbering it until it's the reverse success of the particle accelerator.

No point begrudging this, but what the hey. My sleep got disturbed and I'm depressingly angry.

Sigh.

2008-09-09T09:01:00.001-07:00

Fun condensed into 70 hours of CIP, further condensed into a few shots when I had my handphone camera temporarily. Someone still owes all the VJ NDP cheerleaders our group shots.

Damn la, I'm emo again, even after I think I chatted a whole lot today with many different people and learning how to play the acoustic guitar by "feeling".

Mmm.

2008-09-06T23:19:00.000-07:00

To explain my inactivity in the past few moments...
Can't reply tags 'cuz I'm in Bishan Community Library, so box is off.

I was kinda... like. Sick.
Studying, studying. And when I was bored enough, I seem to find myself playing shit games. But one thing's for sure. I can't seem to play games with the same tenacity and ferocity I once had. Lost touch. Tsk.

The same can apply for my drawing. Empty promises to draw for graphite really came to a blank. My last drawing was about half a year back since I did a big piece and got tired... A couple of problems and complications took the incecntive out of drawing for me. >:

I hate this kinda lifestyle. But I'm having to make do for now.

I'm gonna trash the shit out of this thing called promos, be eligible to become OGL without having a re-paper, and restructure my short-lived JC life. I don't want the same sucky year where I made mistakes.

Even if the changes would only last for a while into CT I and CT II, I will not falter.

I will not falter.

Push through. And I must... at least have something memorable in VJC. Otherwise, coming here was pointless as hell.

Must not negate myself.

Must not negate what was written at the beginning of the year in this blog.

Must negate the melancholy and tiredness in the recent posts.

Must..

Not die.
There's little time to fall ill. Too little time.

...

2008-09-06T18:40:00.000-07:00

Note to all about the blog entry below.

I was really frustrated with a couple of Physics (Gravitation, Circular Motion) and Maths (Application of Differentiation). And it was bloody 3am.

...

2008-09-06T11:57:00.000-07:00

To clarify this certain sms I received from a friend, and numerous phone calls I've received claiming that I've asked you to call me, and if you are intending to hurl numerous questions at my face this coming Monday.

Shut.

Up.

I'm as busy as everyone else. Aren't you yourself busy, huh?
I know you're thinking I'm a lame piece of shit whos bound to fail promos and retain.

Just you wait and see.

... Idiots.
Messaging me at 2.30am in the morning when I'm busy.

2008-09-05T01:48:00.000-07:00

Feeling sick, and feeling sicker.
Pills, and pills next to my books, And I cant seem to complete either.

I'm lethargic, and tired.
I lost my drive somewhere in the middle.

I guess I've finally reached the "so-much-to-do-so-little-time" stage in JC.
Felt like giving up sometimes, and submit to failure, but something seems to keep pushing me, though the word quit rang through my head a coupla times.

I also seem to have lost my affinity for art. I feared that, and it came true.
I'm discouraged and forlorn when what I draw seem to have taken a dip in quality.

I'm lethargic, and yet something makes me want to blog and dare blog about it.
Something is strange with me.

...

2008-09-02T19:41:00.000-07:00

"No damage."

Oh shitttttttt.

0^0

2008-09-01T17:49:00.000-07:00

Like, its like finally, I'm starting to go hardcore. In my own standards. Though if I truly go hardcore, I wont be typing here in the morning. In fact, I woke up by myself at 5am to cook my own breakfast, and start shredding the pages of today's Straits Times, this week's Time, and this month's Reader's Digest.

All in a morning while Channel Newsasis was airing on TV. Thailand riots, Japanese PM resigns, McCain's daughter getting pregnant and getting married... Oil prices (as usual). Nothing new from the digital media. Bah.

I swear I HAVE to finish up Maths TODAY or TOMORROW.
Listing down what I'm asking my teachers. mentors and friends...

Trigonometry, Differenciation, APGP, Functions.

Then I can move on to Physics.
Go me.

Haha.

2008-09-01T00:57:00.000-07:00

GP practice, I realized that my speed has decreased, though my brain has already been conditioned well enough for long-distance mind marathons. It's tired at summary, but suddenly, I had a lot of brainpower left for AQ question.

Mmm, considering it was the infamous November 2004 GP paper, which my friend and mentor told me, would be a good challenge (an intermix of GP with traces of KI). And well, I havent got to check out the official Cambridge answer rubrics for that paper yet... unless someone else has it.

Mmm, by the way. Maths is -almost- done. Patches of information here and there to fix. ApGp still making me lag behind, and I realized my Differentiation is still not on par just yet. Integration is nothing to me now, and so are majority of what was taught... Save for functions, which Im kinda having a bit of trouble with, and very unorthordox Trigo questions...

Hum bah.

Physics, Chemistry... I haven't -really- begun to grind these subjects, but I think I can manage. Tuition covering for much of Physics, but much of Chem was lost to NDP and the Great Disappearance of Muah (wasn't there a week where I just.... magically disappeared? o: )

It's Chemistry with the higher likelihood of scoring lower again. To begin with, Math and Physics were the subjects I'm interested in when I first joined a JC.

Art.. Um... Oh no. I got a video promo project which is as screwed up as my PW WR due in 2 days from now. I gotta top up my handphone and start calling up like some platoon sergeant, only that this platoon sergeant not as garang as most of the platoon sergeants. That, I will not elaborate.

Art SOVA... Errrrr. I have nothing much to say, because I truthfully did nothing much to it... All my logic has been pushed in favor of GP rather than the eye of detail. Hopefully, when I "Blog less, Learn more"... I will have some spare time left to crank up the basic minimum for a D at least? I'm not holding my breath for art grades, knowing it's screwed up by this year's bad coursework performance and bad attitude on average. THAT PROVIDED if I have time.

Competitions, I think this year's competitions are flat out for me, but I am given at least one chance for the Infocomm Project Awards (or something like that). Make one nice presentation, churn out a good script, and talk up a storm (... then run away). Not bad.

Graphite, I'm already feeling the HEAT. I didn't tell those who are taking part or those whom Ive been wanting them to join, but. I think I scrapped my drawings thrice. Elitism kills. I probably need at least 80 more hours of emo songs to produce something d-e-c-e-n-t in my own standard and skill.

Agrabrah.

Meanwhile, I forgot to say good luck for those mugging, those wearing blue berets in army included. Fix cars and move weapons (as well as paper) instead of chionging ahead.

Ok, I'm gonna do some cardio and running before going shopping before mugging straight till dawn.

Uh.

2008-08-26T07:35:00.000-07:00

I may seem like I'm slacking 24/7, but really. I'm doing my best for Math. (Despite the fact I spent 1 period finding my iPod (taken by some ppl), and the other in the library doing Inequalities when I disappeared during chem lect, which I expected to be a revision lect, but turned out to be an ORGANIC CHEM LECT. I wish I can record my scream somewhere.

Meanwhile, holidays are in less then a week. It's just gory horrendous knowing how close Promos are. It's going to be a flaming wreck. I wonder what I should salvage and what I should let burn. Mmm.

For one, I'm expecting a C in Math, considering my current confidence. Gimme one week and it'd be a high B / low A. (:

Well

2008-08-25T07:09:00.000-07:00

Yes, I tell you.

I've been very very very unusual lately.
Something very queer is creeping up on me, and it's creeping me out.

Maybe its the fact that holidays are in 5 days - and it's a very very stomach-lurching feeling to have, considering that I've been slow on revision albeit that I AM revising. Just, slow.

By the way, I got my first MP3 player, its a purple iPod Shuffle. Got it free when mum did something to my education insurance, something like renewing or what. Anw, I only got to experience the joys of an MP3 player only yesterday.

Though, iTunes was a pain in the ass to use, and I deleted a chunk of songs from my thumbdrive doing so. Gee, Violet will kill me if I asked her to send me the whole big chunk she wanted me to hear.

Meanwhile, this has got to be the earliest monday I've reached home early.. The joys of leaving V26 early has never felt so blissful enough.

Talk about V26, Mr Tang really is doubting my abilities. I'll turn emo just because of that and churn up a good story at 4am later. Gonna listen to some new age while studying (aka finishing up integration before going APGP.

Yup, that's all for updates.
(PS - BJ Olympics was the best and the most scandalous Ollie this year.)

2008-08-21T07:11:00.000-07:00

Ooo, blogging from a friend's handphone while having GP tuition.
That's really interesting.

So anywae,
Team Superlative submitted super late, but not late enough to be instantly disqualified.
But today, team Superlative has been eliminated from the auditions round. We didn't make it to the top 40.

Ah well.
More time for mugging. Go me!

2008-08-20T05:54:00.000-07:00

This is my face when I realized that I slept too much.

Power.

2008-08-18T08:35:00.000-07:00

Power mugger mode turn on.
Overclocking in 3 days.
Hyperthreading in 35 days.
Sleep mode in 45 days.

Been brewing extremely thick coffee these days.
Anyways, I chopped up half of what I need to know of Chemistry in one da, but unfortunately, it does not cover what I need to do for tomorrow's test.

It's always been so Winssu to do that - mugging the wrong stuff.
But I tell you now, its collective.

Gaze in awe of my 1000-question assessment books.

Well.

2008-08-17T07:18:00.000-07:00

Been neglecting my blog.
Well.

Not feeling too healthy this week, though I'm glad that I'm no longer having to go to icomp.
Need to catch some more sleep than usual before I can cramp up my brain again.

In the meantime, I rushed Maths and my drawing skills.
And later I've got to do more stuff.

Mmm, I've got nothing much to say.
Dailies are getting boring again.

Work.

2008-08-14T10:24:00.000-07:00

Its 1.25am here.

It feels so familiar.
Thank goodness it's the last week that this overnight work is happening.

I really want to go into FULL SWING like I did during lower secondary. I miss the fanaticism. I miss the craze. I miss the repetitiveness of hearing my 80-song playlist repeat itself. Twice.

Yet, its all starting to feel familiar.

In any case, I must make sure I don't slip back to where I was, and keep myself in check in the meanwhile.

WR overnight.
Draft 1 to submit when peoples are handing in Draft 2.

Mmm.

2008-08-13T16:21:00.000-07:00

"Thank you for registering for your National Service(NS). You have been granted deferment from NS till DEC 2009 to pursue your PRE-UNIVERSITY EDUCATION course at VICTORIA JUNIOR COLLEGE."

Ok.

Meanwhile, home is becoming less homely.
I got to hate lots of things that happened recently and... Mum's becoming a pain again.

Really tiresome - working and mugging in school, and when I left school at 10, came at 11. Bathed, and extremely eager to sleep... I had to endure a monolith of nags, and had to argue against some more to stop more from coming. In the end, after like... two consecutive weeks of this shit - I think I've decided to fall asleep by keeping my ears plugged so hard, I can hear blood rushing through my fingers.

I tell you - It's really demeaning and detrimental. I'm probably really moody really because of this or what actually led to this.. Which is kinda private unless you've heard it from me yourself. :\

Meanwhile, I'll keep living.

2008-08-09T06:40:00.001-07:00

... It was not what I expected today.
It felt all shitty today, thank you.

Day of NDP promised me a lot of things, while I... was ready to smile and show everyone sitting at home, everyone I know... That I can be an outstanding person... That... sigh.

Yeah, it turned out the whole pre-parade segment was not shown on TV.
And no, I am not sad just because of that...

More like, today, I promised a lot of people that I'll be there to watch fireworks with them
, including my fellow cheerleaders whom I've asked quite a number of times... And... and.

u_u.

I went to scout the place forward, after everyone was ready to move to watch the fireworks. Called up my fellow icomp people, ok, we're set to go... Until I reached the Marina Square escalator, problems start happening... And eventually, when I reached the Esplanade, it was sealed off completely.

Tried to call the people up, and... My phone died off, I can't reach anyone.
Uh, well. I was all alone in the middle of nowhere, in the sea of strangers... I was the only one wearing a NDP cap and NDP shirt, carrying a bag of food for the poor icomp people who were squeezed in there...

No point watching it alone. And watching it alone for the second time, will only hurt.
Not as if it was already hurting when I finally made the decision to go home, Marina Square was virtually inaccessible.

I was hurt. NDP, my shining chance to show everyone how extraordinary I can be, and my chance to try to be a socialite... didn't go too well.

I can't do much now, typing this... But thank dear Jeebuz for a wonderful opportunity and such a wonderful day and experience throughout... Guess I didn't make the cut in the end, and now I've slipped back into obscurity... With many probably still seeing me as the fat, uncharismatic no-life stone-face I seem to be in school.

I'll just... sleep now.

Winssu talks about the Olympics

2008-08-08T09:12:00.000-07:00

Winssu talks about the Olympics.

Mmm, after watcing the Opening Ceremony, and reading the abundant articles against and for China hosting the Olympics.. And well, the Opening Ceremony has erected a milestone in China's Olympic history.

Besides the cute little guy who could just walk under Yao Ming's legs - The opening ceremony was quite... grand. Ok, no pun intended for the little guy.

Now, a little critical eye on the littlest of things~

A) The stadium

'Tis big, and quite spacy. But judging from the buckets of sweat that the athletes are pouring out while in their blazers, maaaybe it's quite the ventilation problem? But well... Its very likely, when there's like over 100,000 people inside an enclosed area?

The architecture? I say it's unique, especially when AV equipment and audience interaction comes into play. The 'ring' brimming above the stadium was not merely for an interesting projection - but also for something REALLY epic.

A lot of other stuffs that I saw that I liked - The platform which the 10,000 athletes trod on, as well as the other stuff here and there. Its nice, and I think that the stadium may smell quite musty - considering it's recently built. Mmm!

B) The AV

Cameos-wise...... Some really fantastic visuals here and ther, while there were some that were a complete letdown and a wet-down. The extent of capture was quite big - but there were some blots of bad cameraman-video director coordination.

There were some scenes which obviously showed that the cameramen were idling (Good example was that one camera scene showed only skirts of the female Chinese athletes? Wth?), or were having trouble setting up, or were too slow to get to their capture point.. (The one where both the Chinese representative and Olympic Committee rep were going on stage to deliver their speeches), and some cameras were screwed up so bad its FUBAR. Not really.... but for something so big - even zebras (meaning that there's lots of irritating lines going across the screen) are as bad as cracking the camera lens.

Some really awesome shit with awesome shit equipment - the one which panned THROUGHOUT the ENTIRE audience as if its a sea - The guided air cam costs a BOMB - if it were in other countries.... Say, Singapore. o:

AV wide, the lighting was INCREDULAR, considering that the cameras used did not really show much of it - but experience tells me that cameras kill lighting detail due to the need to capture more light. Sound broadcasting was bad, direct from the scene - if only they had better shit to capture the music there. Sigh.

Then, the CHINESE SCROLL IS THE MOST EPIC SHIT I'VE EVER SEEN. Details in the Events part.

C) Event Coordination

Mmm, I can tell they've worked really hard, but maybe it's the cameraman's fault, or the coordinators and stagehands' too.. I get to see many of these white-and-light-blue shirt guys running around with walkie talkies and headphones, and some of them LITERALLY stole the spotlight. One good example was that fella running RIGHT BEHIND one of the torch bearers. And boy, did he notice and run off the track OUT OF THE SPOTLIGHT after like, 8 seconds of running and being on INTERNATIONAL TV.

Then, the cameramen also had trouble trying to not capture them assembling certain parts of the stage, the podium (not really, I didnt see them put the podium there)...

Oh, and did you notice that ALL the performers, and including those people who are the equivalent of the NDP motivators... They all wear little in-speakerphones? Some seem to play music for the performers, which was what I thought... But later I realized it's for coordinating EVERYONE. That's so damn FBI. Tres Cool!

D) The Olympic Tradition

For the first time in a language that I had been familiar with, Chinese... The speech and the athletes' and refrees' Oaths were done in Chinese. Can't say how proud I kinda felt.

The Olympic spirit too, was also made clear - It's for the first time that I've heard the Olympic anthem sung by so many kids in their ethic tribal costumes. And the olympic spirit was made crystal clear by having a performance on the stage which the oaths are taken. The motivators made the audience do the bird-flying motion... Cant help but laugh at this middle aged man who was doing it, and it looked BLOODY EMO.

And the Olympic flag entrance... It was BLOODY LONG. 6 people of high statue in Chinese sporting history, had a whole damn 20 minutes of international airtime to themselves, having their merits read out in Chinese, English, and Greek (I think, or is it Romania?) Geez, it was damn draggy.

Then, THE DAMN TORCH MARATHON.

SHIT. I can bet that if you were one of those damn lucky people who got a ticket one way or another - This year's torch relay has got to big one of the most EPIC ones of any EPIC PROPORTIONS EVER..!!!!

Like, it was quite the 'normal' kind of relay... But when that lady passed on the flag to this old guy... at this stage... with no big torch... He like, stood there, and EMO. Then the lights shone - and WHOA WHOA WHOA.

LOOK AT HIM FLYYYYYYYYY.

SUPERMAN NIA.
But instead of just flying up, right... What followed was the one that left huge chunks of inspiration in me for time to come - if I am to coordinate any events or videos in the future...

He COMPLETED THE OLYMPIC RELAY ON AIR!!!!! o:

And not only that, the AV was AWESOMELY WELL USED! The Chinese scroll with the background design dating to Han dynasty unfolding as he ran along the rim of the stadium. Scenes of the Olympic relay unraveled as he leapt acros the skies with so much... Grace and splendor.

Not to be corny but... As a Singaporean Chinese, I can say that with every step that he takes - I can feel the pride that the Chinese have felt on that very day. The trials and tribulations, as well as the amount of sweat they've put into making just the Opening ceremony albeit the huge amounts of criticism they've received from the media and stuff. I bet all that was ignored when the fella was doing that run. Just like they said... One world, one dream. Everyone could only stop and stare at the guy run, or at least mock it while gazing in awe in secret........ It was MOMENTOUS.

Ah shit, I'm tired posting about this.. But really shouldn't talk about the possible problems that MIGHT happen during the Olympics, which I would say the real celebration should be during the closing ceremony, if there's nothing wrong going on.

Good night.

You know why?
Because tomorrow's my day of pride and glory... 10 minutes of national TV.

AHHHH.

2008-08-04T09:03:00.000-07:00

SO MANY COMPETITIONS POPPING UP, CROPPING UP AND REARING UP.
Plus this shit called Promos!

Ahhhhhhh..!
It's all just as I predicted as before - it's all going to be one heck of a ARTSY-FARTSY-MUGSY-SLEEPY HEL.

AHHHHHHHHHH.

Not to mention PW.
Augh, WR.

Hmm.

2008-08-03T07:15:00.000-07:00

Today was Sabbath.

It was nice.
So were other things, just that I'm feeling a bit more wicked and a bit more tired at the same time.

Meanwhile, while I messed up AGAIN during PREVIEW, I hope it won't happen again.
Geee, sometimes... I wonder if it was the right thing to do, deciding to take the JC route when Poly was already open for me, or deciding to go overseas early when the winds look nice out there.

Well, the usual 'no-more-complainin'-cuz-ur-already-there' thing.

I've got a Chinese teacher to satiate with homework, as well as 3 photoshop jobs. Meanwhile, I hope the rest of iComp know what they are doing. I'll just... Stand down for a while... I guess.

Not to mention some very deadly things to say this coming Wednesday.
Whatever, I'm no longer interested, in JC life, I mean. I won't hold my breath until my Promo results are out... And registration for OGLs are out.

Dog.

2008-07-31T07:43:00.000-07:00

I've been eating like a dog, my family was wondering why I became the fastest eater in the house.
I've been sleeping dog hours, spurts of hours in and out of daytime, 2 hour spurts of 4?
I've been doing dog work. Both school and private stuff. I'm juggling 5 things at a time.
Typing like a dog also, my keystroke counter recorded almost 300,000 keystrokes made in the past 4 days.

My hair is also like a dog, balding even more than ever, just scratch and brush, can see at least 4 strands PER brush. Quite bad.

Ayia, see? Not enough sleeping hours and not been going to Beijing 101 treatment for nearly THREE months. Its as bad as not doing tutorials, only that what fails later is my hair. Sian.

Then this pc is also dog pc. Very very lousy pc. I miss my old one which is spoilt now.
Then the usual mugging like a dog.
Then making a movie like a dog also.
Then waiting for a laptop that has Photoshop, like a dog also.

Sian la.
Dog.

2008-07-30T11:53:00.000-07:00

Talk about surrealist timings...

Good night.
I woke up at 11.57pm yesterday.

And later,
I will bid you good afternoon before going to sleep at 3pm.

Meanwhile, yesterday saw me going to Bras Besah Complex, and I found what I was looking for; Artfriend has a lot of shit inside, but it doesn't have that much wood as I thought, only small chunks of wood - hardly stuff to carve things out of.

Oh well - back to the drawing board.

After that, I recall going to the Imagination room at the fifth flor of the national library.. And there I had the MOST amount of change ever buying from a vending machine... Like, $7.60 in coins? I could even hear the change in pitch after the eight dollar coins have finished dropping.. And taking them ALL out was a pain.

Sandwich? Only the bread was nice and I can make nice brrreeeaaad myself.
Outback Pineapple BBQ or something, but the taste was somewhat like BBQ-smelling tuna paste.
....with cheese?

Sheez. On a less light note - Today involved me being all angry and moody, maybe it's because I'm not sleeping properly or that my left hand is like having sensitive skin or something. Nerves probably malfunctioning.

Stupid idiot messing up my job and my one and only CCA.
"Idiot la he."

Then my right calf cramp yesterday morning, and while reaching up to wince in pain, my right hamstring PULLED. Shit it hurt. I wonder why my body is revolting against me while I'm probably am turning back into the revolting person I was.

Then, was careers fair and talks. Didnt bother to take the goodies, cept for a few pens to draw with. Ballpoints, and two of which had an interesting ergonomic design to it. Missed the talks because I went to V26, and my brain made me sit and look at a friend play Sonic and Knuckles 3 on the Genesis emulator.

Shit man, I missed the HDB and SPF talks. I was interested in both of them. Maybe I was thinking that they would be reading off the brochures they gave.

And man oh man, I realized I recalled all that in the wrong order.
Now my brain is malfunctioning.

Must be amazing how I finished GP Essay just now. Wait. Three GP essays for the sake of practice. I must be crazy.

I guess, with that.. I should be good at typing my WR.
I mean, with all that substantiating and shit.

And I just realized I swore 680% more than usual today.

I wonder when I'm gonna collaspe.
Jesu help me. :c

Shit la.

2008-07-28T07:35:00.000-07:00

Shit laaaaaaaaaaa.

When I promised myself last night that I'll use all my hours in school wisely, I ended up screwing at least 5 of them today.

Let's see.. Where do I start..

I practically rushed a gigantic chunk of the first phase of Video Archival, because a LOT of people are either unwilling to come down (my sms-es are becoming to flowery, is it?) to do something their video head tells them to do, or not bothered. Well. I got my Master List of videos, so it's one big step today.

Next, I have learnt and drilled more into integration, especially Integration by Parts, and now I'm having Varian's book of imba-mugger-dogged-ness handwriting, I'm gonna decrypt it tonight and analyze it tomorrow. Though down point for today was that I was disorientated for Calculus Revision today... Irony is in the fact it's my first time doing it there.

Then, the worst happened which was not really unexpected... My NEmation team was laming again and I couldnt help it either... I mean who could pass watching 'Will it Blend?' videos, and other spoofed and sick MTVs? Ahhhhhh, well. Went to the canteen, Ryan and Gordon trying a LONG time to connect to the internet to just get into NEmation web, and I don't know why I was stoning there, so it's also partly my fault..

What I couldnt understand abt myself either was that I got quite frustrated... I slapped Ryan's and Gordon's laptops shut. Like, oops. I dont do that and I didnt mean to. I think I was being all of an ass. Look at Gordon fume big time and Ryan rubbing his precious XPS.

Ah, well. I got 4 major things to do.

A) Assignments
B) Camp Proposal
C) WR
D) EOM

and

E) MUG

No sleeping tonight, sian.

2008-07-27T08:24:00.000-07:00

120 posts to date.
That's one of my favourite three digit numbers.

Anw, it's bloody 11.22pm. I'm sleepy.
Talk about sleeping times, my friend was very shocked when I said "I slept at
9.30 last night. Haha." She thought I slept at 9.30am.

That just shows how much of not sleeping Ive been doing.
I mean, 2 people of the 4 whom I told them that were stunned and thought I was MAD. The other two thought I was MAD, too.. because of what made me sleep so early that day.

Pfffft.

Tomorrow onwards, I'm gonna pit my time management to the test. If I pull it off, I beat Violet at sometime else, besides snapping my fingers. :D

Gonna sleep now.
Buh bai.

M.

2008-07-27T01:12:00.001-07:00

Today was forcibly relaxed.

Simply because the last week of this month, as well as the first few weeks of next month, would be the end of a lot of fun things I had signed up for earlier on, as well as the beginning of a lot more boring, mediocre, and tough ones to do.

Proposals...
Essays...
GP Essays...
WR...
More Proposals...
Art Prep...
Teaching Modules...
EVEN MORE Proposals...

Oh man... No more loftiness and finickiness, just pure raging.
Not to mention the usual studying.

I'll.. just take a nap before getting things done.

2008-07-23T06:31:00.000-07:00

Today was quite a fun lesson - music and videos.. Then along came music videos, and a music video assignment.. This from a teacher's perspective. ;)

Then. had dinner with Ryan, Kenny, Dish, Wash.
3 hours gone, sigh.

Then I've this brochure again. x)
Gonna bathe and go straight to sleep before waking up at 2am.

Goodnight, will update mroar tomorrow. :D

Yup.

2008-07-22T08:25:00.000-07:00

Today was fine. Clouds still floating about, and surprisingly I survived it without remembering much of it.. Like, ok.

Had my connect-to. 'Tis ok, though awkward and quirky, it was ok still.. I really don't see having a 'have a drink at the kopitiam' style conversation I would have had with my VS buddies.. Simply because there isn't really much I can have a say about unless it is asked of me. Ayio.

Never mind la.. Learnt about alkanes today, elementary stuff.. It bought me time to settle down with Ionic Equilibrium as well as my basic Organic Chem.. That's pretty nice.

Spammed drawings today, because Marc (a fellow from the Switz) <-- Violet's leg-cramper joke) and En Wei were talking about drawings, and so I drew, and drew, and drew. Even after my 3rd period and personal PT, I continued drawing after that.... Sien.

5 pages of doodles??

I mean, probably it's my creativity constipation that resulted in all of it coming out in one big burst that can't be stopped? Gee.. Now I'm brain-drained and drained also, because after running out of creative steam, did a bit of maths TYS before going home to eat and shower before meeting Cherie at Mac.

Then, today... My mum got the kidnapped-person scam. It became hilarious in the end.

Well.

2008-07-21T07:21:00.001-07:00

YES. .o no/
I settled quite a number of things today.>!
... and also going to settle even more tomorrow~!

Quite a number of other stuff as well - getting in the swing of N.E. mation III, prepping up our three different stories to spam for getting into the top 40.Let's hope Superlative gets inside in the name of VJ (though all four members were VS-ians), then I'll hope I get some fame and more importantly, reputation, back... (Need to dispel the impression that I'm only good for nothing....... ) >u<;;

Anyway, I got back my EoM which sounded good (because I was only told I need to show more GoI), and I still have a bit of editing to do after blogging this post. Haha.

I remember running from the bus stop opposite Marine Parade Library all the way to the one next to the derelict building at the road junction, and I caught a 55! Gabriel was stunned to see me pant and know that I did just that. ;p All in the name of a Mac meal and Wireless@SG access for N.E. mation prep work.

Oh yes, I also signed up for inter-house shooting competition, individual rifle. Didn't know that Phoenix is giving a crazy subsidy for Phoenix people, so it great I guess. At least the former bowman can get to relive the old days of being dead steady and it's like, less costly? Well, gonna get some monies tomorrow~

Meanwhile.. when I signed up, I think I was the only Phoenix member at the Tuesday 6.30pm time slot, or should I say, the whole competition.. The list was so full of Peggy and Aqi people, and it's hard for me to join..

AND YES, I'M LOOKING FOR A THIRD PERSON IN 08S43 TO JOIN, CUZ I WANNA SHOOT MORE U SEE. YOU, ME AND JUNLIANG FOR MARKSMAN... ONLY LIKE 20M ONLY.

Mmm...
What else..

(Today was quite sian until I wanna blog more.) Maths tuition was cool, only that my Integration with Substitution and Integration by Parts quite nuah. So, I was listless for half the time, could only copy then... Well I'll have to decipher that after I finish CCA admin and my EoM...

Ok, I think that's it for today.

And also, may you (the reader) please kindly tag? I identified quite a number of people by IP address and in-person.. Otherwise I would think the blog posts would become more degenerate over time... I'm saving for a camera, so by Year 2 you'll see a big change in post variety, thanks~

...
........................
........................
................................................ - o -
.. fine.... back to Fun with Microsoft Word.

Walaoz.

2008-07-20T01:25:00.001-07:00

"Walao.
Damn busy la.

Zzz.
KNNBCCb!!11!!"

When other people had their season long over, mine's coming right up - and they all go together with the Promos, the AO Chinese paper, and PW OP and WR.

I am telling you it's gonna be one hell of a filthy, crazy ride.

Now back to writing 6 different essays/proposals, handling a paramount number of tutorials and notes, lots of private and school Photoshop work and learning Italian.

Not to mention preparing for 2 different animation competitions, organizing a national animation competition as well as another Infocomm competition sooner or later...

.... plus PW.

"Walao eh."

So.

2008-07-19T09:30:00.000-07:00

Today's performance was quite the usual... very normal...
Very normal meaning it was FANTASTIC..!! Yeah..!! :DDDD

Got to improve my standing with a big number of the cheerleaders today, being in the 'universal' clique I've always been trying to slot myself in.. And I got to know Mr Najip~ Who happened to be a former VS-ian, and knows Mr Ikwan. I guess I'll reserve some funnies for a later time. ;p

Then, while making no more than one...... BIG MISTAKE.. It was flawless, besides a botched mounting in today's routine.

So, today, I decided to stay back to view the fireworks display, and hoh boy, it was spectacular in its own right. Seriously. Lyk everything goes a-booming and everyone was a-woohing and a-whoah-ing.

Then suddenly Winssu had an idea in mind while watching the fireworks, though it was regrettably late when I had thought about it.. I think I will keep it to myself before I get it in play. I tell you, it's going to be a blast, literally and figuratively. Heh.

Then, I chilled out and warmed myself up with a WTH-priced latte in the Arts Cafe in the Library@Esplanade.. There was an indie malay singer promoting his album there. His vocals are pretty good, and so was his guitar.. Too bad it's all malay. Quote his words, "Music is universal, so FEEL it."

Oooo~

Explored more of the durian then, and found more places and plays, including an M18 play going on? s:

Then Edwin was obliged to come and meet me, and I can't help but gawk at his uniform.. Especially at his bermudas, which had a rather weird styling. BUT, it was alright, compared to the four of them NDP hosts who wore POWER RANGER OUTFITS.

Had a pretty nice chat but didnt eat together because he and his group are having a supper, so he sent me off at CityLink? Oh well.

Anyway, more work needs doing here before I can continue focusing on my Mathematics?
So, I'll update tomorrow or something, I guess.

Walao.

2008-07-18T07:47:00.000-07:00

Indeed, its E-DEEDS
Well, I at least didn't get a U-A-DESU, so I guess I can't really complain that much nor grieve too much about it.

So, in the meanwhile, while today took a severe toll on 6 hours of my life and school life respectively, I went to collect my O Level Graduation Book.. A dark blue book with a golden crest of the Ministry of Education emblazoned on it.

No emo post today about that, maybe some other time when I'm more free.

In other news, I left my pencil box in school.
And yet again in other news, I realized that my wardrobe needs more clothes, and clothes that fit thinner people.. Old clothes becoming baggy. Maybe I would have to continue pushing my weight further down to like, around 76 kg before considering buying new clothes.

Damn, I look SUPER baggy with the uniform I bought in January which I felt were tight then, and that time I thought I bought relatively 'thinner' clothes. Now I'm a baggy bag who carries a bag and gets bagged away for lots of things which aren't too nice to brag about or even bag. SHEESH.

If only I had money or the time to alter my clothes. Too bad I don't have plenty of either one, so I'd have to live with living my JC life in a bag, for now.

NDP is coming really soon, and wow.. That first time back then in VJ hall where my talent at being a base was recognized seemed very distant. Post-NDP syndrome is imminent, and I'd probably still go to VJ on Saturdays after that, but only to get from VJ to Bedok jetty and back once more. I've got the green light to shed more weight long ago anyway.

Tomorrow's yet another NDP day, and lots of CCA, competition, and studies to juggle DURING the waiting period. So THANK GOODNESS that iComp meeting got postponed, otherwise I'll just spend the whole Sunday sleeping away my wits and senses.

Lol.

2008-07-17T07:19:00.000-07:00

Too busy to update much.

Only that I have 1 litre of Kopi-O by my side, piping hot Kopi-O.
Lots of things to chiong overnight.

This night is going to be very FUN and OVER-CAFFEINATED.

Mmm.

2008-07-15T04:46:00.000-07:00

Today was long, lethargic, and much more boring.
In fact one of the most boring and dull days in VJC for me.

Did not bring my tuition integration notes with me to school, and we had a sudden announcement calling us to the hall.

Well, lecture. Learned quite a large chunk of Chemistry today, so it's pretty ok. Snoozed in Chinese class, and PW was yet another dozer, and I overslept working in V26 on my EOM. Maybe it was because I slept at 3am doing a lot of things overnight.

Prepared some training materials for tomorrow, my first lesson as a video teacher, 3 months after I had my crash lesson from Razeen.

It's going to be interesting.

So what now?

2008-07-14T07:38:00.000-07:00

Something random that happened out of nowhere.
Thanks a LOT, Violet.

Despite that this morning sucked (getting zero for art coursework and C for GP when I was confident bagging a B or A), this evening was nice, and rocked at the end.

Evening, I finally sprang into action at last about doing something big for my school, and that big thing would be designing the brochure for VJ Open house.. But I was sleepy and slightly high on sweets when discussing the brochure, but at least something creative came out of my head when the sugar high arose.. And it (my idea) was accepted in just one suggestion? Wow, that's a first in my history of creative direction. o:

Anyway, this work is JAM PACKED beyond comprehension - too little time to emo too much about the past shit.

Then, during the evening.. I signed up for tuition back at good old Mavis.

Lykomg, there's now 76 people in the Monday/Thursday JC1 Maths night class. I met, lots of friends, old and relatively new ones... Ranging from one primary school friend to lots of VJ and VS-VJ people.. Including Cecilia!?

Man.. I was stunned to see so many familiar faces, though the ones whom I knew when I was in Mavis myself during Pre-O days were no longer around..

Lessons were tiring, especially when its 2 hours straight in air-conditioned hall, but I managed to keep myself in focus majority of the time in there, learnt quite a bit for integration, and very useful tips that reminded me of imba-days back then in VS when I was in lower sec. Imba shortcuts, imba techniques. I miss them.

Kei, can't blog as much as I would love to, but I've got myself a rather long night tonight.
Urg.

Sigh.

2008-07-13T17:23:00.001-07:00

Yet again, when there's new resolves made, there's always new blunders turning up from old bloodstains that come around to strike at you.

Mid-years was a serious blunder, albeit the hours spent on the three subjects, with chemistry being top of the list and having the most improved, with maths then physics next.

In the end, my physics turned out tops in my grade, with chemistry then maths thereafter. It was all in vain, all in vain. That dealt a heavy blow to my morale and it took quite a bit of effort to stand up still.

Other blow was the problem with me being Video Director, with a recent incident with me being about to take the rap for it soon in time to come. Lots of other responsibilities, and personal expectations, with the high stakes of either a cannon blast to fame, or a falling descent into obscurity and nothingness.

Today, this morning, a few minutes ago, I took a telling off from my art teacher, both about me being absent on majority of the lessons after June holidays, as well as my painting. In the end, all the effort to learn painting skills over the June holidays was fraught. Woe betide me. In conclusion, I got 0 for painting. 30% gone.

This year, is le hel.
I'm dying.

I need resurrection.
Fast.

Hmm.

2008-07-11T07:54:00.000-07:00

Boredom.
It's ever such a beautiful word to describe life.
It's like a void - Absolute, perfect, boring.

Some moments you yearn for moments to be slowed down, so that you may revel it as long as your spirit desires for it. Other times, you wish it were flipped like pages of a book complete with nonsense and obscurity.

However, life does not obey one's own desires to do so. It makes it so... boring.
How one could wish for all the things in the world, and not get it. Isn't it painful?

I wonder.

2008-07-11T02:52:00.000-07:00

Double, double toil and trouble;
Lipids burn, and calories bubble.

.. Talk about a week of a good start and a bad end.

Haha.

2008-07-10T06:16:00.000-07:00

Violette Augen von meinen says:
Winsy-Winsyyyy~ You're SOOOOO asking for it..!

I am Winston. says:
o:

Violette Augen von meinen says:
<3

I am Winston. says:
..........?"

I love conversations like that... somehow.
Don't know why, it's as random as having no Java on a guest acct.

2008-07-05T21:34:00.000-07:00

ITSSSS UBERLICIOUS..!
And I'd probably throw in Joel Lam's "OH YEAHHH..!" which was like... I'll talk about it later. xD

Well...

After not sleeping during my slumber/sneaky-sneaky party in VS, and practicing the four-fifths of the dance that had been taught on the LAST DAY BEFORE THE FIRST PREVIEW SHOW D:, I was goofing around with Generals Zero Hour (which I predict that the whole of VSITC could be hooked over or go to sleep instead of watching movies)...

Ran late (4 minutes) for the bus, and I was getting worried about my pack (looks big but only had a few articles in it), so I put in my NDP kit as well as a few drinks, and dailies, all into one shoebag... Then decided to get off the bus at 10.43am (the bus was supposed to leave at 10.30), and left the pack in the canteen.. Man, it's the cause of one of the many problems later...

Joel, Jun Ren and Gerald were already goofing with their OH YEAH's and their porta-stuff... The bus finally left at 11.21am.

So, I like, realized that A) I wasn't sleepy while those who slept are, B) I felt that it was the same day as before, C) I had a breakfast of potato chips and hot H2O, which spells as quick carbos.

Fast forward, we had rehearsal again on the floating platform, and well... I swear someone was shouting the Tree Song. Maybe he's right... because the weather was kinda odd, to our left was dark clouds and thunder, and to our right was a very very bright, cloudless and hot sky... And our last part needed us to shake our pom-pooms up for like.... 4 eighths?

"I'm a bloody happy tree!
Look at me shaking my branches!
I've have had bright light and hot weather!
And now I'm getting rainwater!
Look at me photosynthesize!"

And at the part where we were supposed to jump, that dood shouted "ATP!".
Zzzz sian, then it started raining on us... Yellow pom pom plus water equals wet sticky pom pom and yellow hands~

Fast forward again, we were at our blue-and-white tent, and well... the usual packed meal... Very nice, with pinap rice and fish cutlet, white cauliflower, and I forgot the third one.

Then I realized that there's free Mr Bean soya on the second floor, and there's a bit of distance to cover before you get a free flow of Old Chang Kee and 2 oz shots of Milo! So I had 2 and a half shots of Mr. Bean, a Chicken Nugget onStik, and 2 shots of Milo.. Funny was that I returned to Joel and Jun Ren, they went with me for more Chang Kee and Milo. So I had Squid Ball on Stik and erm... 7 more shots of Milo... So we guys were quite bloated, and thank goodness we had like... an hour and a half to settle this problem.

How we did it? Joel went to pee them away, Jun Ren walked everywhere to dissipate them as sweat, and I slept the problem away till 4pm, since my breakfast was inapt anyway.

4.30pm! Everyone was suited up, and was tolerating sniggers and laughs on the way between the changing rooms and portable toilet area to our tent... Lots of guys laming around with the beanies, especially Ian and Joel these clowns, Joel decided to cosplay as a something head with 4 beanies wrapped around his face and head... Nevermind.

And we went back to the floating platform.. On the way we noticed how Adrian Pang looked with his Purple-Power-Ranger uniform and that the oh-so-familiar floating bridge is now covered in black canvas... it was seemingly getting more and more... easily dented? Don't know how to describe, but maybe it was us running to our holding area..

Then the place was lighted up warmly and had its fans switched on... The Guards at the entrance, now sealed off with black cloth, were holding up a cool looking "LED traffic light baton beacon", with three modes! Red, Yellow (which is actually red and green light) and Green!

A lot of hyping up and cheering, our VJ team did an AWESOMELY RARE Pump it Up VJ. It was swee-bo! So, we went to our lines, and started cheering and wooing when the light beacon went Red...... Yellow...... GREEEEEENNNN!!!!

Baaam..! The black curtains were drawn and we were dazzled by the bright wash lights and stadium lights all shining at us, it felt like it was 10 am despite the time being 5+ (Left my watch in my shoebag.. Must standardize..!)

The familiar buzz, the familiar entrance music, and a whole new audience.. Must be easy lor. Only that there's no Jun Ren gulping his cup of H2O wide-eyed running to his position when Gerald offered him the cup, with the entrance music playing when Jun Ren had the first gulp down..... and decided to keep the cup in his pants and taking out a busted cup at the end of the last rehearsal round...

There was a lot of kick for each and every correct move, and even more for every wrong move and per second of stoning.. I didn't stone, but I nuah-ed a bit when I half-forgot my routine after forming the circle... And yeahhhhh! Me and my flyer managed to not get her pom-pom stuck when she mounted..! But well, I was reminded to keep grinning from ear-to-ear a la Ernest Puey when her pom pom slapped on my face when she did the intro sitting on my shoulders.

And when it ended, we ran into our gates, and cheered in chorus with Adrian Pang and the other hostress... We were relieved when we had finished out first preview show just right..! More cheering when we reached the loading bay.

It was awesome...

And what was more awesome?
We got ice cream (albeit it being Creamo) by snatching them from the polystyrene boxes, to throw into our KFC meal of SHROOMLESS Shrooms Burger and 1pc meal. (Yeah, laugh if you must)

And what wasn't awesome was that Gerald and Joel were laughing non-stop... From VS-style lames to ABOUT laughing to about NOT laughing to anything else. I timed them both.. 48 minutes... Zzz.

.. But everything else was AWESOME ANYWAY.
I made the right choice to sign up during Physics Lecture 2 months ago.

:)

WHoashit.

2008-07-02T06:20:00.000-07:00

"Wins, we give to you Kungfu in a Panda!"

Razeen's handwriting was neat, and was on a Zocard that was advertising a youth entrepreneurship competition.. I was kinda 'stoned' when I read the first line, since people got random stuff such as Balls of Wisdom, some weird something-shooters, Teddy a la Mr Bean, slinkies and more...

Razeen took out from his back, his hand..
And on his hand, was PANDA.

PANDAAAAAAAA. \*A*/
I got a panda puppet for my official promotion to Video Director.

"May you make videos that will kick many asses..! (Including *censor*!)"
I'm like, omg... It's bloody fluffy and so.. warm ( like, literally) .. And it's so meek and cute when you tuck it together.

(I sound so girly in the past sentence.)

Well, now it's head is poking out of my bag's side pouch (I have nowhere else to put it..) and while going home I can't help but notice everyone noticing it and me..

Well, it's nice..! I mean, it can be good friends with the can of 3-year-old pineapple rings..!

Moral Courage.

2008-06-30T06:59:00.000-07:00

Moral Courage.
WARNING - This is an emo post after quite a corundum of feelings I've have had today. xD

Today, at 2.42pm, it was a terrible fall, one so terrible, where I could have just got up, shake my head once and continue jogging... My arms and feet trembled, I felt a cold breath of fright leave me in a whispered hush.

For the first time in 4 years ever since my terminal depression, ever since Violet had taught me to shrug off the pain and get up, and keep going... I could not.

Today, I thought I was a goner. The darkest depths of my hideous past singeing the mended heart that once shattered, sapping me of minutes... minutes of human thought, human logic, human behavior.

The one ME that I had taken AGES to built up, had suffered a pulverizing blow at its very foundation it was built upon. Yes, for the next 46 minutes, I was cracking, I was crumbling. It was almost like the past had finally exhumed itself from the depths I had buried it beneath... and came to hound me .

I heard no one call my name, not even Violet, not even myself. It was like a movie, everyone around you was moving in a blur, and all you could do, is stare, and stare, and breathe. The scariest part for such a thing - it's the scariest when it happens to you.

When I came back - no one was around, I was alone. I barely recalled myself swearing in class, or passing a classmate my answer sheet, or cupping my forehead in my hands, or even notice my teacher walk past me without even a chiding which I had truly deserved the most.

And when I realized that when the past part happened, I realized.. Was it that I was beyond remedy? Or, was it because I was spirited away? But in any fact or consequence I would have to bear with, it was hurtful in its own right...

I expected myself to have got better - it was that I DID get better than what I expected - but all the careless mistakes aplenty, caused me... to not get what I wanted.

I woke up, and noticed that my arm that I had laid my head on.. was dry........... I had my faith intact, I had kept my word. I promised Violet, since that very Christmas four years ago.......... In any case unless moral judgment dictates otherwise, I will hold back my tears, and reserve them for the end of the journey.

And I realized, I have held true to my word thus far.
I can never ever find a cap to my gratefulness for that very Christmas night, it was god-given.

So, I got up.

Headed to V26, preparing for more work..
I met Ryan, followed by Ernest and Gordon..... These three fine men... were among the best men that I've ever ventured with into the madhouse called VJC.

Ernest helped ease some of the previous hurting I've got.. Gordon himself had an alternate method to ease the pain, and it was wholesome enough to make me better by leaps and bounds.. Don't worry Ernest, he's not being obnoxiously ignorant.. c:

Ryan and I left V26 to talk outside the moment I had a bit more queer frustration pent up inside me...

It was a conversation so queer, so, eye-opening.. I told Ryan, who was rather unhappy about the treatment a majority of us VS guys had been given in our classes... that us guys had been somehow branded as both bad and inferior, and it was obvious. For four years in VS, we had excellent qualities of our own, but we had been regarded so due to our rogue lifestyle and beliefs... and it had always been the true Victorian way to ride free and run free, the way we want it. (And not forgetting to greet OM Chia sometimes so that he won't scold us for random wrongdoings, also.)

We can do our thing, but we always had a thing or two holding us back.... We are mature enough, to know that we must open our eyes and wake up... But however, the problem is about being able to have it, by any means so, to get up, or get off the comfortable bed... It's the most difficult part to actually get up, or even roll off the bed, especially when you had been fatigued and exhausted...

I believe it (the MYE) is a rallying call that us (pure-blooded sounds a -little- elitist and xenophobic here so I'll put it in brackets as you can see here) Victorians must answer to.

I, am going to answer that wake-up call.
Will you?

Well, after recovering from most of the shock, went home, feigned a tiff with my mum so that I can shout out my frustrations. Mym understood when I apologized and explained my sudden rage. (I entered home all smiling and stuff)..

What happened next... She taught me a method which..... I had actually known a long, time ago. Hit the bloody pillow or something soft. But mine's a bit different...

Four years ago, the young, naive Wins knelt next to his bed.. Tired of all the bullying, tired of all the torment, tired of living. He placed his left arm and head on the bed, and raised his right arm high.

Wham. "Rarrrrrrgh..!"

Whud. "ARRRRGgggggghhhhh!"

WHACK. "AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH."

And he laid on the bed, tired, and sobbed.
Four years ago in the month of October, the month I was admitted for terminal depression.

Alone in my bedroom, I looked at the bed which it all happened.

I knelt.

Wham. "Rarrrrrrgh..!"

Whud. "ARRRRGgggggghhhhh!"

WHACK. "AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH."

And I laid on my bed, tired.. Having the same grit teeth as before..
But this time, I was laughing, remembering how funny it was.. It was not out of melancholy this time round that I'm slamming the bed hard enough to break plastic tables in VS... It was that of a fighting determination to LIVE, and a reminder that I am not easily PURGED.

...You know what?

I can't wait for Promos.

My first Parade.

2008-06-28T05:49:00.001-07:00

My first NDP parade today on the bobbing floating platform in Marina Bay.
And mind you, its quite lengthy today because of the loads of things to talk about, I was thoroughly excited.

Although I slept a for mere 3 hours before waking up at 9.45am, slipping into VJ house shirt and leaving house in under 15 minutes flat since I woke. In any case, it was definitely better than deciding not to sleep.

The trip was thankfully short, and I finally got to do a bit of catching up with some of the NDP cheerleaders as well as getting to be acquainted with a few more people.. People like Sihan, Jeridyn, and so on. Don't mind spelling mistakes. ;p Then I met familiar faces like Terence, Joel, Jasmine, Reuben, Jun Ren, and so on. Bought a Mocha to fight off that droopy eyelid.

Though, Jasmine was in her usual sleepy and sheepish mood, and it would seem that it was actually a very long shopping trip (with a friend?) in PP to find a birthday present, and a church session, that KO-ed. And today I commented about how the bus driver looks like Chow Yun Fatt with those Chow-Yun-Fatt-like sunglasses on.

Then we got dropped off in front of Marina Walk, though literally, because the bus jerked when a couple of us thought it was time to get off. lol. c:

And whoa, it sure was a nice scene - being able to be on the flatform as seen in TV, and being able to be inside the flatform where all the fun and excitement was contained...

Rehearsals were terrible on the first run on stage, since many of us had post-MYE symptoms and did not manage to switch back to NDP mode and recall our moves properly... And the same Shadow Partner (Maplestory pun) whom I danced the Friendship Dance with, decided to join me as my flyer, and I was carrying an invisible person in my pyramid formation...

Running, running, re-acquainting, and getting out hands very yellow due to the (supposedly $25 each) pom poms. Indeed... I was expecting h00j and fluffy ones that swallow your hands whole, but instead we got those shiny strands of... um... shiny plastic cellophane? And those are actually bundled together with a plastic cuff and a rubber band (supposedly for gripping, but it was outruled because it was so difficult to take off even without using the bands!)

I think... because of the pom poms, this year's NDP cheerleaders are wearing skimpy accessories - something new in NDP history.

Well, it was very, very HOT on that stage (12pm - 1pm), and the sun was glaring menancingly down on us. Later on before the break that came, did I find out that one of us (Serene) was suffering from heat exhaustion.. Lord bless.

Then, after the third round (second was a very. very slow recitation by Lenny, the guy with a mat-worn cap), we were led to the Singapore Flyer building... To the skyroof which was designated for us Cheerleaders. Food under the bristling hot weather (and the tent equipped with fans), western food consisting of chicken cutlet, baked beans, and mashed potato with a lump of bread.

2 hours of slacking and rest as well as learning how to play taitee, I spent lots stoning, and quite a bit sleeping cum meditation... And Su Ann, Kinicky and Co. came. One from bowling, the rest from Singapore CSI competition. (Damn.)

Notified them of some of the new stuff and some of the changes to our cheering routine and decided to chug more water before I unknowingly found myself walking back to the platform, being amused along with Terence about those quirky pickup lines that Su Ann, Deejee and Kinicky were going on and on and on about.

Then we were running, running, running, back to the holding area, and it's the first time I saw something I wouldn't quite expect... All the performers are actually rounded up in seperate 'cages' like cattle and so there we practised, and crapped our minutes away, until we were in our usual lines of two, and see those guys flip the sign to green (a first time experience for me, too)...

Second rehearsal was much better, maybe not for the second half and I kind of became frantic, and thank goodness I became frantic early, otherwise I wouldn't know I may have a panic attack on the Preview Shows.

... And so we ran away from the stage, away from our shame, hahaha... Run back under the audience seating area and to the loading bay, before we are moved back to the Flyer rooftop, where there was more slacking, and some sightseeing (the parachutists, the anti-tank booms, the traditional chinook (with national flag) and apaches, and fighter jets zooming pasts in pretty formations, just like when I went to watch NDP for the first time when I was Primary 5, and now here I am 6 years later, being a part of it. c:

Well, after that I had the free FKC distributed to us (un-tartar'd Fish Ole where there's a packet in the little bag inside... Three pieces of popcorn chicken... and a Mashed Potato... And because I was feeling very hungry (I had nothing but hot water, frozen mixed veggies, and instant noodle seasoning at 4am today), I took another pack and realized I was too full when I finished the three pieces of popcorn chicken... So I took the second Fish Ole and Mashed Potato slowly...

In the end, when I was about to warm up to a number of people in NDP Cheer, I ended up being lonely again, and slid away... Maybe not, because many others left long before I did, while some aren't taking the MRT.

Forget it, I don't wanna lengthen this post with emotalk.

Soooo, I took a rather long detour through Marina Walk, and across the street, and to Suntec City... Lo and behold, I didn't expect to see a Play@Park roadshow in there... So I stopped, took out the handphone, and started videoing this very very insanely godlike beatboxer... He does not just beatbox well, he is also capable of humming and beatboxing, singing and beatboxing, and even RAPPING AND BEATBOXING.

Lol wow, I think we have a winner. *does that funny thumbs-up and head-jerk dance from the M1 ad*

Well, it was actually the Audition roadshow, the Best Clubber 2008... And I see lots of kiddies, dudes, lians (who swear more profainities than VS guys), and even aunties hold onto Asiasoft goodie bags and some weird blow-up toy with the Asiasoft mascot printed on it...

And man, the contestants were rather... Oooooookei. Some were decent dues and dudettes (there's the Mr and Miss Best Clubber), there are some dressed like otakus, with one following the light Harajuku style. But because I've decided against putting up all the time with two dudes on the left and 5 lians on the right who are scolding more profanities than a VS guy would in one year.

So, I took the long train journey home, had a nice hot shower to see the red-hot v-line on my now explicitly pale body... I look like I'm wearing a yellow shirt lol.

... And here I am, haha.

I think I'm gonna brew up a dessert drink and fall asleep, fast.
Maybe I'll get the photos uploaded sometime, lol.

2008-06-27T13:50:00.000-07:00

I hardly knew how it came to me, and not know at all how it went by so quickly.

Back then, I was that lamer representing Theodore going on stage with 5 other people to do the Chicken Dance in front of over 500 people, and amongst those culprits responsible for starting the Secondary School Cheer war (it was practically half the VS-ians at that point of time).

Now, I've already finished the Mid Year Examinations.
Only in five months, the sweeping change did I realize happened to me; slightly tuckered out, and having taken quite the beating on my ego and pride in academics, social and CCA. Worse, I even felt that many of the things I wanted to accomplish in VJC, weren't even begun.

Though the days are long, the years are short.

It makes me wonder, if life in VJC is really meant to be cherished and sorely missed in the future once we step out of the school gates with an A Level cert inside our bags (not hands obviously, that's so last century)..

Do not get me wrong - I'm not being skeptical or objective here, it's just that apart from Orientation 1 as well as Sea Regatta, there has been practically nothing which actually left behind a monolith of memories in me. Nothing.. significant.. It feels kind of terrible, so to speak.

Maybe, maybe it's just the fact that those memories have yet to come for me, while many others would probably have had them already, or know what's going to be. But for me, it really a blur, a haze... What would mine be about?

But in any case, it makes me feel kind of.. incomplete. I seem to be lacking this certain something, and it is hindering me from bursting into the skies like a rocket, leaving behind trails of rainbows and stars... That was something I promised myself I would do once I get into the institution, and shatter the very dark and sordid past I have, Lord protect me.

Maybe it's because I lack that special someone? Eh, it's hard to tell, but yeah, it may be likely. Maybe it's because of my ages-old desire to do something of ginormous proportions to satiate the thrillseeker and perfectionist in me? It's more likely so? Maybe it's because I've not been recognized for what I intended myself to be recognized for? Ahhhh~ It's only but a possibility.

But one thing is for sure - I have done nothing big as of now, and that voracious and fiesty devil in me, made more bold by influence from Violet, is already wanting to get out of it's confines and go raaarrararrrrr! I havent set myself to win anything yet, and my current CCA is but one miserable iComp, although consolation prize is that I'm a video director.

I'm also an NDP cheerleader, albeit the fact I went to the two WRONG weeks and missed the two CORRECT weeks of training, but I'm still proud of it. c: I'm also a...

a...

................................
..............
......

Nothing else.

Walau.

..... Victoria is something more~